Margie: The Hero

Margie: Edna, you should be proud of your sister. I haven't told you this story before now because I don't like the spotlight and I certainly don't brag on myself.

Anderson Cooper called me today and wants me to be one of his heroes on CNN. Take that, sister.

Edna: Margie, the day you don't like the spotlight is the day I put on an ugly hat and start calling myself the Queen of England. Just what is it that you think you'll be talking about on CNN, pray tell?

Margie: Remember Diamond Dennis and Don Wan who drove Betty Lou and me home from Vegas? Well, I knew something wasn't right about them and guess what?

Deputy Jimmy arrested them as we were getting out of the car. I knew they were just looking for pretty women like me to scam so I turned them in.

Edna: I knew you'd get into some kind of trouble on that trip! So riddle me this, sister: if you knew they were trouble, why did you let them squire you around Vegas that whole time?

Margie: Say what? Oh, I understand now. I didn't want to make them suspicious, Edna, or they might have high-tailed it.

Edna: Hmm, I believe that like I believe you're the one who turned them in. Here's what I think, you didn't know a thing about any of it until Deputy Jimmy showed up to arrest those two. Knowing you, you had to save face so you concocted this ridiculous story about knowing all along and being a hero on CNN.

Margie, prevaricating is so unladylike.

Margie: Well, I'm not the one who pre-variates, loon.

Edna: That's it, I'm buying you a hearing aid battery for Christmas this year. Every time I have a conversation like this with you, it's time I won't ever get back. I am getting too ding-dang old to put up with your nonsense, sister.