Monday, January 5, 2009

Our New Year's Resolutions


Margie: Edna, we make resolutions every New Year yet we never keep them. Why is that? I think I'll make some sensible ones this year.

Last year we said we'd cut back on eating so much chocolate and I declare I believe we ate more than ever. So, this year, I'll just say that I resolve to watch how much chocolate I eat.

Edna: That is indeed a sensible resolution, Margie, you go ahead and work on that if you want. But I'll tell you right now, I think the reason we never keep our resolutions is because they aren't any fun. So I'm going the frivolous route on my resolutions this time. After all, I'm an old lady; why shouldn't I enjoy my twilight years if I want to?

I'm going to try to be more glamorous this year. Hopefully Santa will bring me those sequinned tennis shoes I asked for. If not, I've got plenty of glittery rhinestone jewelry. I resolve to wear at least one sparkly thing every day.

Margie: Lord have mercy on us all. Edna, I think you're in the Twilight Zone with the stuff you come out wearing sometimes.

I never thought of glamorous as a term that describes you. However, if you can have such a silly resolution then I resolve to ogle more young men when I can.

Edna: Then I resolve not to criticize you when you do, even if I think you're a scandalous old hussy. Which I do.

But on that note, I resolve to try not to fight as much with you this year. Although you try my nerves on a daily basis.

Margie: I think you're a moron but I resolve to find a new name for you.

Edna, I resolve to try and hold my temper when you forget that you said you'd try not to fight as much with me.

Edna: And I resolve not to remind you what a shrew you are when you get mad and yell at me for something really silly.

Hmm, we're already not doing too well on our resolutions, are we? I really do resolve to be nicer to you, Margie. After all, you're the only family I have left, Lord help me.

Margie: And I resolve to be nicer to you, Edna. If you get tired of me being nice then you can move to Florida and be part of the Biddy Bunch.

Edna: Gladly. Now, I'm off to go look through my jewelry box for something glittery to wear tomorrow. Try to stay out of the chocolate, Margie.


gLoR!e said...

I'd never had resolution every new year because i know myself that i couldn't keep it..heheh

Robin Green said...

It is funny because each time I say to cut back on something, I actually have more of it.

Balceroregontr said...

We should all make resolutions to read this blog so we get a good laugh a day. They say laughing is good for your health so I will try to be more healthy and have fun at the same time.

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