Monday, August 10, 2009
Why?
Margie: Edna, you always brag about how smart you are and how you could have joined MENSA. Here's your chance to prove it. I'm going to ask you two questions. Let's see just how smart you are.
Here's the first one, nitwit. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Edna: Good Lord, Margie, why are you asking me these questions before I've even had my Geritol? Fine, if you absolutely must have an answer, then I'd say they get into those enclosed light fixtures by sheer determination alone. Or maybe they're suicidal, how the heck should I know?
Margie: Lying liar. I knew you wouldn't know. Look at this everybody- Edna lies about how she could be in MENSA. I think I'll call them and tell them you're making them look back.
Do you want one more chance to answer a question before I dub you the Eternal Nitwit?
Edna: What I want is an apology, you cabbage head. Go ahead and ask your second question, but I reserve the right to refuse to answer.
Margie: Question two for the fruit loop coming up.
Edna, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Edna: That's an easy one, it's because it would get tangled up in the vines as he swung from tree to tree. Who's the fruit loop now, you old crow?
Margie: Lord a mercy, Edna, you're dumb as a stump. I suppose you think he went to Wal-Mart of the jungle and bought razors?
Edna: I'm not the one sitting around all day thinking up these idiot questions. Kiss my grits, you moron.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Fun Friday: John Hughes
Beth: Hello everyone, I'm Edna's alter ego. Don't worry, Margie and Edna will be back to their regular hi-jinks very soon! However, the ladies have graciously given me permission to take over the blog post today. You see, although Miss Edna is an elderly lady in her 80s, I myself am a child of the 80s. And we children of the 80s got some sad news on Thursday when we learned that Mr. John Hughes had died suddenly. So today I'm sharing one of my favorite John Hughes movies with you, The Breakfast Club.
John Hughes has my eternal gratitude for introducing me to five misfits who spent a Saturday stuck in detention in the fictional Chicago suburb of Shermer, Illinois. Thank you, Mr. Hughes, and may you rest in peace.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Edna and the tomato patch
Edna: Margie, help me into my rocker, I'm all cramped up from sleeping on the ground last night.
Margie: Help yourself dingbat. I heard the back door creak open this morning about dawn. Dare I ask why you slept on the ground?
Edna: Well, see now, that's the problem. I have no recollection of anything that happened last night after dinner until I woke up this morning out in the tomato patch. I hate to say it sister, but I'm getting too old to hold my special tea.
Margie: It's a good thing my memory is fine. You kept drinking special tea last night and telling me jokes you heard on your cruise. I finally went to bed but you told me to leave the special tea so you kept drinking and talking to yourself.
You're a plain glutton, Edna. Maybe you best switch to water.
Edna: This ought to tell you how bad I feel this morning, because I actually agree with you. Lord-a-mercy, I'm starting to think those teetotallers have the right idea! Maybe I'll switch to lemonade from now on.
Margie: Edna, I think you're very wise to do that. May I suggest Smirnoff's Tuscan Lemonade? Try that on for size.
Edna: Sounds mighty tasty, but maybe that's a bad idea too. I can just see it now: I sit down to have a glass of your fancified lemonade after dinner, and the next thing you know I'm crank-calling the neighbors and singing Rudy Vallee tunes out in the front yard under the moonlight. I think your original idea was the right one, it's only water for me.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Top Droppers For July

Take a coffee break
A Simple Life
Mommy's Little Corner
Split Rock Ranch
AsTheCrackerheadCrumbles
Amy Lilley Designs
Hello Kitty Gifts
Comatized
Add Yours
Monday, August 3, 2009
Animal Rescue Help Needed
Margie: I digress today due to an email I just received from a friend. I can vouch for this lady's love of animals, fine character, and compassion. I apologize for the length but wanted you to have the full story.
You'll find all the contact information at the end of this post. Thank you!
After daily caring for the rescue dogs for 7 long months -- through the bitter, bitter cold; the never-ending rain, snow, and massive pooling of water; and the extreme heat -- I was told today that I would not be allowed to adopt Joy. Other volunteers are also being told that they may not adopt the dogs they have been working with EVEN THOUGH the plea agreement clearly states the volunteers get first preference of the dogs to be adopted. I put in applications to adopt 4 of the 8 dogs I have been working with this past year. My decision has been thought through thoroughly -- everyone that knows me knows my ability to care for dogs.
Points to understand: Eddie and Love (two other rescue dogs I am wanting to adopt) cannot be evaluated or even touched by NESR yet because those dogs are still owned by Linda Kapsa and could be returned to her at the sentencing Aug 11. SO, the ONLY dogs NESR can look at right now for me to adopt are Joy and Happy. They've told me that I can take Happy -- she will not be evaluated because she is not an English Shepherd!!!!! As a matter of fact the lead trainer and head person evaluating the dogs for NESR called Happy a big, fat swollen tick.
I could go on and on about the extreme conditions in which we have had to work with the dogs, but I do not have time to write all of this out. For those who have followed this story, you know how far Joy and all of the other dogs have come under my care and the care of the other handlers. The reason I have been given for my not "being allowed to adopt Joy" -- AND WAS GIVEN VERY, VERY HARSHLY AND WITH GREAT HOSTILITY FROM THE NATIONAL ENGLISH SHEPHERD RESCUE representatives -- is that she has not progressed since January. What a bunch of bullcrap. Massive bullcrap. This is the same reason other handlers are being given also.
I've been told that Joy will be going to an experienced English Shepherd home, but when asked where that home would be I was told that it had not been determined yet. Anyone who knows and sees me with the dogs knows how attached all the dogs are to me, but most especially Joy. Her attachment to me and me alone is very strong. She is cautious around strangers, but this is an English Shepherd trait.
PLEASE if you have time, PLEASE blast these people with emails (and phone calls) with your shock over the volunteers NOT getting the choice to adopt the dogs they have been working with for 7 MONTHS -- dogs for which they have sacrificed in their lives and finances. The plea agreement clearly states the volunteers get preference to adopt the dogs. The volunteers get preference -- NOT NESR.
Thank you everyone. Your help is needed.
Penny
Email addresses:
Yellowstone County Commissioners
jostlund@co.yellowstone.mt.gov
jreno@co.yellowstone.mt.gov
bkennedy@co.yellowstone.mt.gov
Billings Gazette (newspaper)
Steve Prosinski, Editor
406-657-1289
1-800-543-2505
sprosinski@billingsgazette.com
Chris Rubich, Features Editor
406-657-1301
same 800 number as above
crubich@billingsgazette.com
Tom Tollefson, Local Government/Courts Editor
406-657-1399
same 800 number
ttollefson@billingsgazette.com
Donna Healy, Feature Writer
406-657-1292
same 800 number
dhealy@billingsgazette.com
Jan Falstad, Business/Economy
406-657-1293
same 800 number
jfalstad@billingsgazette.com
Ed Kemmick
406-657-1293
same 800 number
ekimmick@billingsgazette.com
Also:
citynews@billingsgazette.com














