Sunday Funnies

Edna's Pigtails

Edna: Good grief Margie, what are you cackling about now? You were laughing so loudly, you woke me up from my nap!

Margie: Oh Edna, I had a memory of you and couldn't help myself. Do you remember when you were in 2nd grade and Mama thought you looked so cute in pigtails?

You hated those things but you knew better than to sass Mama. We walked home from school every day with you crying all the way. You said Bobby Joe pulled your pigtails all day. How long did you have to wear those pigtails anyway?

Edna: Until Mama said I was old enough to wear my hair up. Unfortunately, that wasn't until I was 16. Lordy, but Mama had old-fashioned ideas.

Margie: Edna, Mama tried to raise you right. Just goes to show you can't make a nice purse out of pig's ears.

Edna: Kiss my grits, Margie.

Margie: Still a crybaby.

Margie's Class Reunion

Margie: Edna, I went to my high school reunion last night. I went to the 50th and said I'd never go again. I should have done what I said. It was such a disappointment even though I was voted prettiest, best dressed, most popular, and youngest looking.

Edna: Well good grief Margie, this was what, your 70th reunion? My lands, no wonder you were voted all those things, you were probably the only one in your high school class still alive to attend!

Margie: Edna, you know good and well that's not so! Betty Lou was there and so was my old sweetheart Mr. Ford. He asked me to dance but he never could get out of that wheelchair.

Edna: Wasn't Betty Lou the name of your childhood imaginary friend?

That was sweet of Mr. Ford to ask you to dance, but I bet that his eyesight is so bad that he thought you were someone else. I don't know why you went to that thing anyway.

Margie: Edna, you make me sick. If you'd gone to your reunion you'd be bragging all about it and how they said you were lovely. You're a fruit loop and you can't stand for anybody to say something nice about me!

Well, you need help. Mental help. You're just a vicious old woman. I'm going to the basement before I tar and feather you!

Edna: Fine by me. You go spend a good long time down in that basement, you harpy. Maybe by the time you come back up, I'll be happy to have a reunion with you. I wouldn't count on it, though.