O Kind and Gentle Margie

Margie: Edna, I am so tired of bad news. People being shot or stabbed, teachers abusing students, wars, oil spills. I though times would get better but seems like people are getting meaner instead.

So, Edna, I have decided to be a kinder, gentler Margie. I'm going to show people how much better it is to be kind and gentle instead of mean and violent. What do you think?

Edna: You'll pardon me if I take a moment to ponder the ramifications of this life-changing decision.

Just how exactly are you going to show people how to be kind and gentle? What's your plan of action, O Kind and Gentle Margie?

Margie: Well, I'm going to be kind and gentle at home first then at church. You know the neighbors and relatives I never could stand? I'm going to do good deeds for them and I'm not even going to yell at you.

Peace and love to you, sister.

Edna: Why don't you tell me exactly what else you're going to do at home besides not yell at me? I think you should try your hardest to set a good example for me, so I can be as kind and gentle as you are.

Margie: You are so right, Edna. I'm going to show you how to wash dishes and do laundry and clean your room. I'm going to show you lots of smiles instead of frowns and I'm going to sing even if I feel like crying. Best of all, I'm going to show you how to catch a man.

Edna: You know what I think would work best? Showing by example. So you go ahead and show me how to do all those things, I'll sit right here with my iced tea and take notes. You can start with the breakfast dishes.

Margie: Edna, I'm going to be kind and not call you a moron then I'm going to be gentle by smacking you on the head with this fly swatter.

There's a time and place for kind and gentle but it's not now in this house. Run for your life!

Edna: Hmph. I knew that was too good to be true.

Disaster in the Gulf

Margie: Edna, come help me write our Congresswoman because I'm hopping mad. Have you seen what that BP oil spill has done to the poor wildlife? I want BP charged with animal abuse then I want that CEO tarred, feathered, and run out of town.

Edna: Better yet, maybe they should just dunk him in the Gulf of Mexico a few times. I bet that would fix his little red wagon.

It's a sin what's happening down there right now, and that's no lie. Whenever I think about it I just get so darn angry. Maybe I'd best take a few deep breaths for a moment.

Margie: Let me write that down about dunking him. Good idea.

Yes, you take some deep breaths. I know how you get when you get so mad. You start turning red and sputtering. Maybe I'll tell our Congresswoman that you're the perfect person to find a solution to this mess.

Edna: Why Margie, if I didn't know better I'd say that was a compliment! Although, typical of you it was wrapped in an insult. My solution would be to go back in time and never allow oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico by BP or anyone. But since we can't do that, I guess all we can do right now is pitch in to try and help the wildlife. There are a lot of places people can volunteer time and money, but they'll have to check local agencies before just showing up at the beach with rubber gloves and a scrub brush.

Margie: See? I knew you'd have the solution. Let me call while you pack and I'll tell them you can volunteer as much time as they need.

Bye, sister.

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If you're in the Gulf region and you're looking for some ways to help with the cleanup and animal rescue, check out the list of organizations at the following links:

Deepwater Horizon Response
Greenpeace blog
Volunteer Latin America