Edna: Margie, I tell you what, I am getting too old for mall shopping any more. I went to do some last-minute shopping today with Cousin T, and I like to have gone out of my mind. First of all, the music was cranked up so loud in some of those stores that you could barely hear the sales clerks. Then, the temperature was insane in that mall. Hopefully those weren't hot flashes, because I’m too old for those too. I think they make it so hot in the stores so you'll get thirsty and buy food and drinks at the food court. Well, I am too smart to fall for that!
Then, all the people with kiosks accost you as you walk by, even if you're looking the other way and not making eye contact. No, I don't want to change my wireless service! No, I don't want to try a hair straightener (my hair is already straight!) If I wanted to buy an air-brushed tee shirt with Justin Bieber on it...well, if that ever happens, just shoot me. It was like an exercise in torture. I'm not going back and you can't make me.
Oh, and the cherry on top was the traffic in the mall parking lot, pure insanity. I watched an old man in a truck completely run over a five-foot tall "no parking" sign, pause slightly, then keep going. He cut that sign off at the base of its metal pole, and last I saw it was just laying there in the parking lot. I don't think he even saw it, I think he thought he just ran over a speed bump or something. Cousin T and I just looked at each other. For once, neither of us had anything to say.
If I were a drinking woman, I'd be relaxing with a nice wine cooler right about now. I think I need a nap. Or a leisurely vacation in Florida. See you later, sister!
Oh, and the cherry on top was the traffic in the mall parking lot, pure insanity. I watched an old man in a truck completely run over a five-foot tall "no parking" sign, pause slightly, then keep going. He cut that sign off at the base of its metal pole, and last I saw it was just laying there in the parking lot. I don't think he even saw it, I think he thought he just ran over a speed bump or something. Cousin T and I just looked at each other. For once, neither of us had anything to say.
If I were a drinking woman, I'd be relaxing with a nice wine cooler right about now. I think I need a nap. Or a leisurely vacation in Florida. See you later, sister!
1 comment:
Wine cooler? Honey, you need one of my special ginger drop martinis to cope with that day of shopping...or did you even buy anything? Perhaps a Margidale massage is in order? Matter of fact, I could use a Margidale massage...send one over!
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