Margie and Edna's Basement

Margie: Edna, I always look forward to this every year. We sit in the parlor with our cordials and exchange gifts. It's very pleasant.

I decided to get you something useful this year. No lotions or creams or Polident for you. I'm giving you a gift of the one thing you have never experienced.Are you ready? Here it is, sister.

Edna: Here's your gift, since you're always complaining about your gout.  Although, I wonder if that would work as a how-to manual?

Margie: I hope so. I wouldn't have to buy you any more gifts for Christmas.

Edna: Margie, you're a regular Scrooge. Just for that I'm not going to give you that designer Snuggie I bought for you over to the flea market. I got it for you in camouflage so you can sneak up on the gentleman at the VFW.