Margie: Edna, I have some volunteer work to do today so I'm heading to town. I don't know what time I might get back so why don't you ShamWow some of the dusty furniture? After you do that why don't you get on your broom and sweep the kitchen?
Don't try to cook anything because we don't need the house to burn down. Just eat some bread or crackers. I'll be eating out tonight.
Edna: First of all, you obviously haven't been paying attention to the infomercial or you'd know the ShamWow is only for wet spills, not for dusting. Honestly, you never listen!
Secondly, just what kind of volunteer work requires you to eat out at night? I'm mighty suspicious, sister.
Margie: I'm going to the VFW. Today is Hug A GI Day. I'm going to do my patriotic duty and hug all the GI's I can find.
You know, Edna, that I believe our GI's deserve a hug from a nice lady like me. I'll brighten their day.
Edna: I know you're waiting for me to call you a hussy for wanting to go hug men all day, but this is a holiday I can support! The only thing that annoys me is that you wanted to leave me behind. Are you worried the GI's will like me better because I'm the younger sister?
Margie: Edna, I am simply trying to spare you the embarrassment of having the gentlemen decline to kiss those prune lips.
Be a good girl and go wash your hair.
Edna: You are a selfish floozy, and don't you think I'll forget that you wanted to cut me out of the action! Fine, be that way. I hope you catch a communicable disease from one of those soldier boys.
Margie: Shame on you, Edna. Sounds like you're the floozy since you're looking for "action" and I just want to thank our soldiers. Tsk, tsk.
