Thought Screen Helmet

Margie: Come on, Cousin T and Edna, and eat breakfast because we have work to do. I have found just what we need to keep us safe in this crazy world. It's a thought screen helmet and we have to make our own. This helmet will stop aliens from abducting us.

I think we'll probably have to wear them 24 hours a day because we sure don't want to be abducted in our sleep. Edna, we'll call this our new church hat and we won't need to buy any more hats ever.

Cousin T, we'll buy the materials if you'll make the hats. Lawsy me, I feel safer already.

Cousin T: The thought screen helmet has made you feel safer simply by knowing it exists? Imagine what it might do for you if we made you one. I got nothing to do this afternoon.

I will say this, that gal sure don't look too traumatized for having been abducted for years. And that fella looks like he has a secret alright.

Edna: Did either of you notice this part? It says on that site that these helmets are only successful for abductions from full-blood aliens. It won't work against "alien-human hybrids." How do you suppose we'd know the difference between a full alien and a hybrid that's trying to blend into Earth society? Because I'll tell you what, I've seen plenty of suspicious folks around here in Jericho that just didn't seem quite right.

Cousin T, pick me up a pretty purple hat to go over my helmet. There's nothing that says you can't be fashionable and protected from alien abductions at the same time.