We Love Jennie

Margie: Edna, you remember our friend Jennie Sword? We need to write her a note to let her know we're still thinking about her. She's such a pretty, kind young woman. I wish everybody would be as sweet as she is.

Edna: Of course I remember Jennie, she was so nice when we interviewed her a while back, remember? I must say, this is one of your better ideas, I'd love to write her a note. We should tell her how much we miss her, and how our little town of Jericho just isn't the same since she left. Where is it she's living now?

Margie: She's living in California, Edna. We should write her and ask her if she's finding any bargains in Beverly Hills. Maybe those rich folks are having hard times too.

Frankly, I'll just ask if I can borrow her credit card because I bet she'd feel bad turning down an old lady. I wonder if she's met any nice cowboys lately?

Edna: Margie, don't you dare ask that girl for her credit card! You'll shame the both of us, and she'll think you're just an uncouth old woman. Which you are, of course, but there's no need for her to know that.

I do remember that she loves horses, so maybe she does know where there are some cowboys. I imagine there must be some real ones out there in California, they can't all be movie cowboys. You know, one of the things on my list to learn before I die is riding a horse, I wonder if she'd come back here for a visit and teach me how?

Margie: I have the best idea! Let's buy a horse for her and tell her it's here then she'd have to come visit again! She's so pretty that the young men would swarm around here.

Let me see your credit card, Edna. I want you to have your riding lessons.

Edna: Oh no you don't! You stay away from my wallet. If you want her to come visit, you can just think of something that doesn't involve my credit card.

I think if we told her that she could come for a nice restful stay in our guestroom, she'd like that. We could make up some of Mama's teacakes for her, and she could have all the special tea she wanted. I know she must be tired of the rat race out there in Los Angeles, so a visit here to Jericho would be just what she needed. Margie, go get out the writing paper and let's get this note ready for sending!

M&E plan their spring garden

Edna: Margie, we're running late on our garden planning this year, what with all the partying we've been doing lately. My lands, but we need to get a move on if we're going to have anything planted! I know Cousin T will help us with whatever we need outside, but I think we'd best decide what we want to grow before we start him to work. For myself, I think we should put in a few heirloom vegetables. I've got a hankering to grow me some purple tomatoes this year.

Margie: Whatever you do, Edna, don't give Cousin T any Special tea until he's finished making our rows. Lord a mercy, they went every which-a-way last year.

I'm planting red tomatoes and corn plus some peanuts. We need beans too, Edna, and a herb garden.

Edna: An herb garden is a very good idea, I just love the smell of lemon verbena. I also think we should set an area aside just for some flowers. Zinnias and sunflowers are always a cheerful addition to any garden.

Oh, and look, I found a plant that we can grow in your honor. It's called Devil's Claws. Hee!

Margie: Edna, you are not funny. I'm salting a ring around the garden to keep demons like you out.

I'll also plant some tall, pretty flowers so I don't have to look at your face.

Edna: Fine by me, since that means I won't have to see you either.

I'm looking forward to some homegrown vegetables this season, Margie. Go call Cousin T and tell him that we'll pay him in cookies if he helps us with our garden, okay?

Margie: Only if you use your own money to buy the cookies, Edna.

Edna: Does that mean you're buying the seeds, you cheapskate?

Margie: Sure, Edna, if you can loan me some cash.

Edna: Oh good Lord, I am not getting into this argument with you in front of our readers! I swan, Margie, sometimes you have the manners of a toad. Just call Cousin T and we'll talk about this later, you hear me?

Passionate Bloggers

We received a very nice award last week! (Our apologies to Kat over at Candles Crafts and Whatnot for being so late in thanking her.) We do love getting all kinds of awards, but what we love best about this particular one (besides the fact that we are fond of Kat) is that we do not have to pass it along! Now, that's not because we're lazy, but because we have so many favorite blogs, it muddles our tired old brains to try and pick just a few deserving recipients. So, thank you Kat, we love our newest award!

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On a side note, we'd like to take a moment to campaign for our favorite television Alpha Males, Sam and Dean Winchester. E!Online has been running an Alpha Male Madness tourney all month, and it's down to the final four. Both Sam and Dean are in these latest brackets, so we hope you get over there and vote. Apparently you can vote as often as you want, so go Team Winchester!

Make Your Own Holiday Day

Margie: My word, Edna, look at this.

"Today is your day to skip all of the red tape, bypass all of the effort, and create a special day of any kind. Simply declare your special day on Make Your Own Holiday Day!"

I, Margie, do hereby proclaim this day as Be Kind To Margie Day. Edna, could you get me a cup of coffee and some cookies? Oh, and a nice blanket to put over my knees too.

Edna: Pfff, just because YOU say it's a holiday doesn't mean I have to abide by it. You can just be kind to yourself.

Now, I like the sound of Eat Nothing But Chocolate Day. Whooee, there's a holiday I can get behind!

Margie: Edna, that's a holiday that will make your behind bigger. Maybe we should make a holiday that doesn't revolve around food.

How about Ogle A Muscular Man Day?

Edna: Margie, that's the first sensible thing you've said all day! You go round up some liquid refreshment and I'll go round up the muscular men, and we'll make a day of it. Sound good?

Margie: Sister, maybe you could join Mensa with that idea! I'll get the refreshments.

Edna: You know, maybe we'd better extend the holiday until tomorrow, in case I don't make it back by tonight with the muscular men. Don't wait up for me, Margie.

Margie: Floozy.

"Charles Atlas and Admirers-1924"
Photo courtesy of The New York Times Photo Archives

M&E try healthy eating

Edna: Margie, there's a lot of talk on the news these days about healthy eating. Do you suppose we should think about improving our diet? You tend to cook with an awful lot of lard, and I've never met a chocolate bar I didn't like. Maybe we should make some changes in what we eat.

Margie: I suppose we could try, Edna, but cooking without lard? I'm not sure I'd know how.

You've never met chocolate anything you didn't like, Edna. Remember when you ate those five Hershey bars even while Mama was telling you that you'd be sick? You were sick for two days.

Edna: Now, why do you have to bring up ancient history like that? I haven't gorged on chocolate in nigh-on 75 years, you moron. These days, I limit my chocolate eating to one bar per day, thank you very much.

You know, I've been hearing a lot about tofu, we could try that. Or maybe we could start eating alfalfa sprouts and drinking wheatgrass juice. I hear that it's very "cleansing."

Margie: Lying liar. I know better. You just let me see you with one bar a day.

Wheatgrass juice? That sounds like something horses eat. No way. I don't think I need cleansing, sister, since I take my Ex-Lax every day.

You try it first and I'll see if you survive.

Edna: On second thought, maybe we're too old to be changing our eating habits now. Perhaps we'd best leave healthy eating to the young folks. What do you think?

Margie: Amen, sister. Let's enjoy the years we have left.

Pass me a Hershey's bar.

Sexy Sofa

Margie: Edna, would you look at our sofa? Our party guests must have dropped their food and drink all over it. We can clean all that but how did all these little holes get in there?

We can't afford a new couch. What can we do, Edna?

Edna: Trust you to go all fluttery over a little bit of damage, Margie. You know as good as I do that all a good solid piece of furniture needs to perk it up is to re-upholster it. I bet if we put our minds to it, we'll be able to find some nifty fabric choices online.

Margie: What a good idea, Edna. Let's get something bright and cheerful. The room could stand some pep. Let's start looking.

Edna: I think we should go with something tasteful and timeless. I feel sure that you'll agree, since you claim to be such a lady and all.

Margie: Here it is, Edna. I want this for the sofa, my bedroom, and my bathroom. What do you think ?

Edna: Margie, that's so typical of you; you won't rest until you've hussied up the whole house, will you? You can do what you want for your own bedroom, but it's just not decent having half-nekkid men on the sofa fabric.

Okay...if I agree to pinup fabric for the sofa, then you're going to have to pay for it out of your own money. I won't contribute to the delinquency of our sitting room.

Margie: I'll gladly pay for you to shush.

Let's see... I need enough for a bedspread and a shower curtain. I'm going shopping, Edna.

Edna: You'd best be shopping with your own money, you freeloader! You hear me?

Fun Friday: Party Aftermath

Margie: Edna, that's the last par-tay you'll ever talk me into. I never saw such a mess in my life. I'm not cleaning all this up. It looks like a swarm of locusts came through here.

There's not a scrap of food left, all the Special tea is gone, and somebody even stole my bottle of cough medicine. Lordy, my head hurts. And, to top it all off, I found some bloomers hanging in the bathroom and they don't belong to me or you!

Edna: Margie, please stop shrieking at me, my head hurts too. You know, I thought our guests would be much better behaved than that. Maybe putting "clothing optional" on the invitation attracted the wrong sort of crowd...

I just can't clean anything until I feel better. I'm going back to bed with my hot water bottle and a bicarbonate of soda, you can just cool your jets until I recover.

Margie: Oh no, Edna, no bed until I'm finished with you. You just had to convince Silly Willy and Fluffy to bring their cotton candy machine. There is so much cotton candy all over the kitchen that I can't even make my coffee.

Let's talk about Miss Lidian. She got into your hope chest and cut all the ads out of your magazines that you've been saving since 1930. I found her droppings in the trash can.

When I tell you what Cousin T has done then we may as well both go back to bed.

Edna: Oh Lord, do I even want to know what that boy did? I told you to cut him off after that 4th cup of special tea! You know, Miss Maitri brought her pugs along to the party, and they were much better behaved than our human guests.

Margie, was I hallucinating or did I see Miss Fashiona dancing with Jensen Ackles while wearing a pair of these?

Edna: I honestly don't remember much that happened after Rich started that conga line. The rest of the party is kind of a blur...

Margie: The pugs were well-behaved for sure. Edna, that was Rich wearing Fashiona's shoes. Frankly, I wouldn't be caught dead in those things.

You think Dbalcer is sweet? I caught her on the porch steps with a jug of milk and she'd swiped our stash of Oreos.

Cousin T wins the prize, Edna. That boy has put up all our Christmas decorations. Lordy, where's my bed?

Edna: Our Christmas decorations? Oh thank goodness, I thought those blinking lights I kept seeing were pixies. My lands, what a party.

You know, Dbalcer is asleep on the couch, and I spotted kricka passed out in the front yard. Should we wake them up to help us clean? Miss Amy said she'd help us clean too, but we have to pay her in bacon.

Margie: Yes, Edna, wake them up. When the house is clean then wake me up. Tell Amy to kiss my bacon!

Night.