Margie Loves Navy Day

Margie: Edna, I was just reading that today is Navy Day so look what I dug out of that old trunk of pictures. Remember these two sailors?

Edna: Margie, I'm not sure that I'm in the mood to listen to more of your escapades. That's probably just some picture you cut out of a magazine.

Margie: Edna, you're the old fool who cuts Gilles Marini pictures out of magazines then tapes them on your wall. You even have one of his face taped on your pillow.

Anyway, this is Navy Day and I always like to honor our military men. I've known so many of them over the years. Happy day to all you sailors!

If you're ever in Jericho just ask anybody to direct you to my basement. Come sit a spell and let's have tea.

Fun Friday

Margie: Ladies, are you fed up with men having all the fun? Just look at this.

I think the time for change has come so I've decided to start my own business for ladies only. My cowboys will be out and about to entertain you.

First, I need a few good ladies to drop by the basement and help me select our finalists from these manly applicants. Take a look then come on over and help me pick out the most qualified.

Look them over, ladies. Touching is permitted.

Old Lady Jewelry

Margie: Edna, have you seen all these talented people making and selling jewelry? Why can't we do that and make some extra money? You could go buy the stuff, we'll make some jewelry, then we'll split the money. How about it?

Edna: Margie, if you think I'm going to bankroll the entire project and then give you half the money, you are sorely mistaken. Either that, or you've had too much special tea today.

I do admire folks who make that beautiful jewelry we see on people's blogs. I'm not sure my old hands are nimble enough any more to make anything anyone would want to buy.

Margie: We don't have to make jewelry, Edna. Maybe we could make things that would be easy on your old hands.

How about key chains? We could put our picture on one side and a nekkid man on the other. How about that? I'll go look for nekkid men pictures.
Edna: Good God A'mighty, you and your nekkid men! Do you honestly think that anyone's going to want to buy a key chain with a nekkid man on one side and two old ladies on the other? I'm not sure we want to cater to that kind of clientele.

Margie: You hurt my feelings you old fool. You just make what you want and leave me out of it.

I'm going in my room and look at my photo albums. I hope you're a happy dingbat. Hussy.

Edna: Margie, that is just like you! You have some grandiose idea but it has to be done YOUR way. Then when someone raises some reasonable objections, you pitch a mighty fit. Well fine, go ahead and sulk in your room--at least I'll have some peace and quiet today.

Folks, I tell you what, if you ever see my sister coming your way with her packed suitcases, you just shut off the lights and pretend you're not home.

Fun Friday

Margie: Edna, see you later. I'm going to check out the neighbors' new pool.




Margie: See why I don't tell her everything?

Got room for Margie, sweetie?

Make Your Own Holiday Day

Margie: My word, Edna, look at this.

"Today is your day to skip all of the red tape, bypass all of the effort, and create a special day of any kind. Simply declare your special day on Make Your Own Holiday Day!"

I, Margie, do hereby proclaim this day as Be Kind To Margie Day. Edna, could you get me a cup of coffee and some cookies? Oh, and a nice blanket to put over my knees too.

Edna: Pfff, just because YOU say it's a holiday doesn't mean I have to abide by it. You can just be kind to yourself.

Now, I like the sound of Eat Nothing But Chocolate Day. Whooee, there's a holiday I can get behind!

Margie: Edna, that's a holiday that will make your behind bigger. Maybe we should make a holiday that doesn't revolve around food.

How about Ogle A Muscular Man Day?

Edna: Margie, that's the first sensible thing you've said all day! You go round up some liquid refreshment and I'll go round up the muscular men, and we'll make a day of it. Sound good?

Margie: Sister, maybe you could join Mensa with that idea! I'll get the refreshments.

Edna: You know, maybe we'd better extend the holiday until tomorrow, in case I don't make it back by tonight with the muscular men. Don't wait up for me, Margie.

Margie: Floozy.

"Charles Atlas and Admirers-1924"
Photo courtesy of The New York Times Photo Archives