Margie the floozy

Edna: Margie, I was just plumb shocked by what you posted with those young men last Friday. You just won't be happy until you've completely filthed up our blog, will you? I swan, you have the morals of a barnyard weasel. If I weren't a lady, I'd tell you what I really thought of you.

I'm not even going to ask where you found that second picture...

Margie: Edna, you're so jealous. You always have been. You're no lady, toad, and you know it. Where I get my pictures is none of your concern.

Hussy.

Edna: A true lady would never display questionable pictures of semi-nude cowboys on a public blog, not that I'd expect you to know any better. You always did have a slim grasp on propriety.

You'd best be glad that Mama isn't alive to see these shenanigans, Daddy either.

Margie: Questionable???? There are no questions about these pictures. I can see them well.

You're a fruit loop. Besides, Edna, I don't say one thing in public then say different behind closed doors like you do.

Mama, Edna's a lying liar!!

Edna: Lord, she is surely trying my patience today. Please give me the strength not to sock her in the nose.

At least I know what it means to be discreet. You know, Mama surely did teach us better than to go around in public acting like floozies. My lands, cats in heat act more dignified than you do.

Margie: Listen, old lady, I'm starting my own business. How would I ever get customers if I just hid all those sweet cowboys and kept them for myself?

Hmm, what a lovely thought. Anyway, Edna, kiss my oats. Meow!

Sexting Thoughts

Margie: Edna, I don't know what the world is coming to. I was just reading about these kids doing sexting. Lord a mercy. Do you know what Mama would have done to us if we'd sent a sex message to a boy or our nekkid pictures?

Mama would have heated your tushie, sister, because you were always in the middle of any wrongdoing. I knew how to act like a lady.

Edna: Margie, are you going to sit here and have me and our readers believe that you would never have sent a risque picture to a beau if you had the means to do it? Because I heard some stories around town when we were young...

Margie: That's exactly right you floozy. Well, I heard stories too so you best hold on to your bloomers and duct tape your mouth or I'll tell them.

Edna: Ah, but the difference is, the stories I heard about you were true.

But you know, you're actually right Margie. Kids today need to show a little more restraint and decorum when they communicate with each other. Let them learn from us; if they're not careful, stories could go around about them for a very long time.


Margie: I'll have to agree, Edna. You're a good example too. You never thought your girlish doings would come back to bite you in the tushie all those years later.

Nobody's taking nekkid pictures of me to use for blackmail! I'm not talking about you, Hef. Call me.

Sunday Funnies

Naked Recreation Week

Margie: Yes, you see correctly that it's nude recreation week. I'm so happy my old sister is vacationing so I can have this week to myself.

Some of us from Bailey's will be meeting at the creek for skinny dipping. You all should come join us. I'll not be wearing clothes in the house all week and you know how Edna would have a hissy fit about that.

What will you do this week? Go nude in the house? Yard? Go skinny dipping? Whatever you do be careful but have fun.

I wonder if I should streak through the grocery store? Wouldn't that be fun?

Sexy Sofa

Margie: Edna, would you look at our sofa? Our party guests must have dropped their food and drink all over it. We can clean all that but how did all these little holes get in there?

We can't afford a new couch. What can we do, Edna?

Edna: Trust you to go all fluttery over a little bit of damage, Margie. You know as good as I do that all a good solid piece of furniture needs to perk it up is to re-upholster it. I bet if we put our minds to it, we'll be able to find some nifty fabric choices online.

Margie: What a good idea, Edna. Let's get something bright and cheerful. The room could stand some pep. Let's start looking.

Edna: I think we should go with something tasteful and timeless. I feel sure that you'll agree, since you claim to be such a lady and all.

Margie: Here it is, Edna. I want this for the sofa, my bedroom, and my bathroom. What do you think ?

Edna: Margie, that's so typical of you; you won't rest until you've hussied up the whole house, will you? You can do what you want for your own bedroom, but it's just not decent having half-nekkid men on the sofa fabric.

Okay...if I agree to pinup fabric for the sofa, then you're going to have to pay for it out of your own money. I won't contribute to the delinquency of our sitting room.

Margie: I'll gladly pay for you to shush.

Let's see... I need enough for a bedspread and a shower curtain. I'm going shopping, Edna.

Edna: You'd best be shopping with your own money, you freeloader! You hear me?