Factual Friday: Margie hearts Kurt Sutter

Margie: I have a fact for you, sister. Mr. Kurt Sutter, my hero, has created a new series for the Discovery Channel. It's called "Outlaw Empires." It starts May 14th so you can watch your own TV that night. I will fight you to the death over Sons of Anarchy or this new show.

Guess what, Edna? Mr. Sutter says this new show will make Sons of Anarchy look like Sesame Street. Maybe that means somebody will get nekkid. I do love a handsome bad boy.

Mr. Kurt Sutter (or, as Margie prefers, Mr. Margie Callahan).

Edna: Good Lord. Margie, you can have the television all to yourself that night. I'm certainly not going to sit and watch anything smutty or violent with you. It just encourages you, and you're smutty and violent enough already. Maybe I'll spend the evening at Cousin T's, he's much less excitable than you are.

Margie: Lord a mercy! Let me see if I can find some more smutty or violent shows then maybe you'll just move to Cousin T's. Yee haw!!

It's that time again

 

Edna: Margie, when was the last time you dusted off this television set? It's like it's barely been used all summer. 

Margie: Edna, there's nothing good on summer television. I'd rather sit on the porch or sunbathe or hang out at Bailey's. When was the last time you did any dusting anyway? 

Edna: Well, I'm dusting now. Don't you know what time of year this is? It's fall premiere time! My lands, the way you complain about summer television, I would have thought you'd be counting down the days. I'm excited about our old favorites coming back, like Castle, but there are some good-looking new shows this year too. Have you heard about Ringer? It's got that "Buffy" girl and it looks very suspenseful. Oh, and it has that lovely Nestor Carbonell from LOST, too. 

Margie: I know exactly what time of year it is and I have my shows already scheduled. I don't know anything about a Ringer but that Secret Circle looks good. So does Person of Interest. I have to watch Dancing With The Stars even though I hate that show. You know how I love Nancy Grace so I'll be rooting for her. I hope she doesn't shame me. 

Edna: You tolerated me watching DWTS when mon cher Gilles was on, so I guess I can afford you the same favor. Just don't expect me to call and vote for her, in case there's someone I like better. There's a few comedies I'm looking forward to, like Suburgatory and New Girl. I know you don't like sit-coms, but if I can watch all those boring documentaries you like, then you can sit still long enough for me to watch something funny. 

Margie: Okay, you can watch those silly comedies but I'm putting in my ear plugs! You know, sister, we could get one of those DVR's if you weren't so stingy. I could watch Body of Proof, Unforgettable, and Anarchy when I pleased. I hate they're all on at the same time. It's odd that you like funny TV shows when you're always so sour. 

Edna: Just to show you how sweet I really am, I'll dip into my pin money to pay for a DVR. I consider it money well spent if it means you'll stop griping at me. Good Lord woman, close your mouth. You're attracting flies.

Margie's Sons of Anarchy

Margie: I am a happy woman. Jax and all my other boys return
to FX tomorrow night at 9 CST. There are no words to say how much I've missed them. I feel sorry for anybody who's missing the best series on TV.

For my Jax loving friends here's a little taste of what we'll see tomorrow. Don't forget that the premiere is 90 minutes.

I love you Kurt Sutter!!


http://www.facebook.com/jane.sweat/posts/152063581545621#!/photo.php?v=2339454974625&set=vb.17432988290&type=1&theater

Sons of Anarchy: Season 4 Promo

Fall TV is here!

Edna: Margie! Haul your carcass in here and help me move this furniture. It's going to benefit you too, so don't you crab at me about it.

Margie: Oh my back! Edna, the Dr. said I can't move anything. I'll just sit here and watch you.

Edna: Not if you're planning on watching TV this fall with me, you won't. I want to get the living room sofa angled just so because there's always a glare from where I sit. I don't want to miss any little bit of Nathan Fillion's face when Castle comes back on Monday.

Margie: Sister, I don't think his face is all you like. Floozy. Maybe I will help then I'll be in the hospital where I'll have a TV all to myself.

Edna: Double win for me! You'll be out of my hair for a while and I won't have to listen to you whine about how I didn't make enough popcorn.

I know we both are looking forward to Castle and Supernatural coming back. Are there any new shows you particularly want to watch this season?

Margie: Well, I like the looks of The Event. That Blair Underwood can fill my screen anytime. You also know that my biker boys are back in Sons of Anarchy.

I'm looking forward to The Whole Truth too. Of course, nobody ever tells the truth anymore.

Edna: I'd say you're uniquely qualified to make that statement, sister.

You know, I like the looks of that new show, Undercovers. There's an actor on it who looks a whole lot like our Mayor Green, but surely that's just a coincidence.

Margie: Leave it to a floozy like you to want to watch something about Undercovers. You'd really like it even more if the Mayor is in it.

Edna, I hope you know that Supernatural will be on Friday nights now. I like that. I'll have Jensen dreams all weekend. Talk about Undercovers. Whee!

Edna: Oh good Lord, you're useless. Fine, I'll move the furniture myself but just know I'm picking the best seat in the house next week once the new shows start. I get to hold the remote control, too.

Margie: I hope you don't think that's some big news flash, nitwit.

Edna: I'll take that as agreement with me, you harpy, and our readers will back me up on that.

The 2nd Annual M&E Awards

The Primetime Emmy Awards are coming up this Sunday night, and as usual we don't fully agree with all the choices the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has made. So, in what has become a tradition here in the Basement, we present to you our very own...

M&E AWARDS

Hottest male lead on a new show: Nathan Fillion
(Castle, ABC)

Show that was finally (thankfully) put out of its misery: According to Jim (ABC)

Worst new show (now canceled and none too soon):
Kath and Kim (NBC)

Shows that shouldn't have been canceled
but, sadly, were:
Pushing Daisies (ABC), Samantha Who? (ABC)

Best last-minute show renewal choice: Chuck (NBC)

Sweetest voice: Jensen Ackles
(Supernatural, The CW)

Sweetest Voice runner up: Patrick Warburton (Rules of Engagement, CBS; The Venture Bros., adultswim)

Show that made us want to turn on all the lights in the house:
Harper's Island (CBS)

Most exciting show: Sons of Anarchy (FX)

Best reality show: 2-way tie
Margie's Choice: The Biggest Loser

Edna's Choice: Dancing With the Stars

Cutest non-couple that should be a couple: Penny and Leonard (The Big Bang Theory, CBS)

Oddest Romantic Coupling: Sawyer and Juliet
(LOST, ABC)

Most nail-biting season finale: Lucifer's summoning on Supernatural (The CW)

Show that is quickly surpassing LOST as being confusing as all get-out: Fringe (Fox)

Fun Friday On Thursday

Margie: My gosh-darn sister, Edna the nitwit, tries to mess up everything I do. Here she wants me to do my Fun Friday on a Thursday! Well, if that's what she wants then she's gonna get it.

Look at this folks. This is my new love- Jax from Sons of Anarchy on FX. He's delicious.

This is Maggie Siff. She plays Jax's girlfriend, Tara, on the show. Lord a mercy, I'd like to trade bodies with her for about a week.

This is the best show on TV today. Yes, it's quite violent at times and the language is rough to my dignified ears but I just keep my eyes on the Jax. I meant to say the screen.

Ladies, come see all these fine motorcycle men. They are just hot. FX on Tuesday nights at 10:00 ET. Enjoy!

Coming soon to a small screen near you...

Photo courtesy of sugar_pop78

Edna: Margie, I'm so happy that we'll have new TV episodes to watch soon. I swan, I've gotten tired of just staring at your face for entertainment all summer.

Margie: Well, I'm tired of hearing you complain. You sit around and ask me what's going to happen on your returning shows like you think I write them.

My only interest is that sweet, charming, yummy Jensen Ackles. He invades my dreams every night. I love those soft lips and...

Edna: Oh good Lord, I forgot that I'm going to have to listen to you gush all over that poor boy 'til the cows come home. Good thing Supernatural is so entertaining, now if only you'd hush up while it was on. Another returning show I'm looking forward to is Fringe, that show gives me the chill bumps. And it's just confusing enough to remind you that it's from the creators of LOST.

What shows are you looking forward to watching this fall, loudmouth?

Margie: Well, I love Sons of Anarchy with those wild motorcycle men. Yum! You know I won't miss that sexy Christian Slater in The Forgotten either. He can warm my bed all winter if he likes.

Flash Forward also looks good because it reminds me of what happened in Jericho a while back. I'd best start stockpiling popcorn.

Edna: You go ahead and do that, I'll be mapping out the rest of our viewing list. A new show I really have my eye on is Glee. I watched the series premiere and it tickled my funny bone, but in a smart way. Hmm, I bet that means you won't like it, though. Come to think of it, I bet I'll be watching The Big Bang Theory on my own too, those boys on that show are way too brainy for you.

Margie: You watch what you please and I'll do the same. If you have a funny bone then I'd love to know where it is.

I wish you'd go up in a Big Bang, nitwit. I'm going to my room now.

Edna: Yeehaw, you do that sister! Then I'll have the TV all to myself so I can watch The Venture Bros. on adult swim. I know you always say that cartoons are for children and the feeble-minded, so maybe I can enjoy my show in peace without any of your sass.

Dear readers, I just wish I didn't have to wait a few weeks for all my shows to start up again, especially since my crabby sister is in her room right now. Well, such is my burden. Tell me, what shows are you folks looking forward to watching this Fall?

The M&E Awards

After getting into the TV award spirit this week, we decided to list some awards that we think are more accurate than anything the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences could come up with. And so, we present to you the M&E Awards!


Best Fictional Town That Should Be a Real Town: Jericho, Kansas

Coolest Car: Two-way tie between Dean Winchester's 1967 Chevy Impala (aka The Metallicar; Supernatural, the CW) and Jake Green's 1969 Plymouth Roadrunner (Jericho, CBS)

The Metallicar (Supernatural)

Jake's Roadrunner (Jericho)

The Miss Fix-It award: Heather Lisinski (Jericho, CBS)

Sweetest Voice: Jensen Ackles (Supernatural, the CW)

Best Dimples: Josh Holloway (LOST, ABC)

Hubba hubba!

Most Over-Rated Hero: Dr. Jack Shephard (LOST, ABC)

"He walks among us but he is not one of us..."
Uh, okay.

Most Insanity-Inducing Hiatus Span Between Seasons: 24 (Fox); runner-up, LOST (ABC)

Cutest Couple: Pam and Jim (The Office, NBC)

See how cute they are?

Cutest Non-Couple That Should Have Been a Couple: Jake Green and Heather Lisinski (Jericho, CBS)

Awwww!

Best Married Couple: Claudia (Kim Delaney) and Michael (Brian McNamara)- Army Wives (Lifetime)

Best Portrayal of a Psychologist: Roland (Sterling K. Brown)- Army Wives [Formerly seen on Supernatural]

Most Unjustly-Hated New Character (2007 season): Bela Talbot (Supernatural, the CW)

Best New Show (2008 season): Sons of Anarchy (FX)

Best Spy-in-Geek's-Clothing: Chuck Bartowski (Chuck, NBC)

Most Deserving of his Own Home Improvement Show: Cousin T

We'd watch it!

Heather or Sprague?

*photo courtesy of FX

Edna: Margie, I saw this girl on a TV commercial the other day that reminded me so much of our little Heather Lisinski here in Jericho. You don't suppose she has a twin, do you?

Margie: I don't know about a twin, Edna, but I saw a girl who looked like her cavorting with some biker men. You know I do love biker men. Vroom!

Edna: Well, they're probably not related then; I don't think our Heather would engage in such degenerate behavior. She told me that she's often embarrassed by your antics, you know.

What TV show did you say you saw this girl on?

Margie: It's called Sons Of Anarchy, Edna. It's on that FX channel. Let me tell you that they use some bad language but who's listening with all those biker men on the screen?

Edna: Of course that's what you'd be paying attention to, you hussy.

You know, I looked up this girl on the computer. Her name is Sprague Grayden, and she's quite a busy actress. It looks like she's going to be on "24" next season. I don't watch that show Margie, it makes my nerves jump too much.

Margie: Oh honey, I know just what you mean. I tried to watch it once but it made me have nightmares.

Doesn't Sprig ever make any movies, Edna?

Edna: It's "Sprague," not "Sprig," you nitwit. It looks like she was mostly on the television before now, but it says here on the computer screen that she's got a couple movies that she's been working on. I don't think they're coming out any time soon, though. Looks like your best bet is to keep watching for her on your biker TV show.

Even if she isn't related to our Heather, I like this girl. I hope we see a lot more of her.

Margie: Me too, Edna, but I really hope we see a lot more of the biker men. I wish they'd visit Jericho.