Margie, Get Your Gun

Margie: Here's a picture of me when I was a few years younger than I am now. I was quite the markslady back then and you should have seen that fella run when I told him to get away from me or I'd fill him full of buckshot!

Anyway, it's the time of year when networks start renewing or cancelling our favorite shows so my picture best remind them that I don't cotton to my shows being cancelled. Just look how they treated Jericho! Margie has not forgotten. You hear me, CBS?

Here's a friendly warning to Fox. Don't you dare cancel my Alcatraz! You got that? I enjoy Jorge Garcia and I want you to leave him alone!

Who's next? CW, listen up. I absolutely love Ringer and you cancel it and I'll be ringing you! You don't want me to get angry. Just ask Edna.

I think my other show are safe. Oh, CBS, I want Jericho back too. Idjits!

Fall TV Review

Margie: Edna, there were lots of new TV shows last week and I found some favorites. I don't like Dancing With The Stars but I'm watching because my friend, Nancy Grace is on it. She's doing a great job too. At least she doesn't step on her partner's toes like somebody I know does, sister.

I really liked Person Of Interest. I love to watch a handsome man kick tushie. My favorite new show, though, was Revenge. That show could give a person lots of ideas. What did you like, Edna?

Edna:  Oh no you don't!  You're just trying to trick me into revealing my favorite new show because you know that as soon as I do, it will get canceled.  Well, I'm on to you sister!

All right, maybe I liked Ringer, just a little bit.  I'm finding it a little confusing, though.

Margie: Edna, that's because you're always confused. I think I'll get my pistol and cancel you!

Edna:  Kiss my grits, harpy.  While we're on the subject of you being an idiot, why didn't the DVR tape Terra Nova last night like I set it to?  Admit it, you erased the recording because you knew the show was about dinosaurs and you were afraid you'd spot one of your old boyfriends.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Margie: That wasn't all I erased, nitwit.

Edna:  That's true.  You erase at least a year off your age every time you have a birthday.  Keep that up and pretty soon you'll be too young to drive legally.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

It's that time again

 

Edna: Margie, when was the last time you dusted off this television set? It's like it's barely been used all summer. 

Margie: Edna, there's nothing good on summer television. I'd rather sit on the porch or sunbathe or hang out at Bailey's. When was the last time you did any dusting anyway? 

Edna: Well, I'm dusting now. Don't you know what time of year this is? It's fall premiere time! My lands, the way you complain about summer television, I would have thought you'd be counting down the days. I'm excited about our old favorites coming back, like Castle, but there are some good-looking new shows this year too. Have you heard about Ringer? It's got that "Buffy" girl and it looks very suspenseful. Oh, and it has that lovely Nestor Carbonell from LOST, too. 

Margie: I know exactly what time of year it is and I have my shows already scheduled. I don't know anything about a Ringer but that Secret Circle looks good. So does Person of Interest. I have to watch Dancing With The Stars even though I hate that show. You know how I love Nancy Grace so I'll be rooting for her. I hope she doesn't shame me. 

Edna: You tolerated me watching DWTS when mon cher Gilles was on, so I guess I can afford you the same favor. Just don't expect me to call and vote for her, in case there's someone I like better. There's a few comedies I'm looking forward to, like Suburgatory and New Girl. I know you don't like sit-coms, but if I can watch all those boring documentaries you like, then you can sit still long enough for me to watch something funny. 

Margie: Okay, you can watch those silly comedies but I'm putting in my ear plugs! You know, sister, we could get one of those DVR's if you weren't so stingy. I could watch Body of Proof, Unforgettable, and Anarchy when I pleased. I hate they're all on at the same time. It's odd that you like funny TV shows when you're always so sour. 

Edna: Just to show you how sweet I really am, I'll dip into my pin money to pay for a DVR. I consider it money well spent if it means you'll stop griping at me. Good Lord woman, close your mouth. You're attracting flies.