Margie: Edna, remember when we were girls and we'd go back to school after summer vacation? Teacher always asked everybody what they most enjoyed about their summer.
I'll tell you what I enjoyed most this summer. Your vacation! I had this place to myself and you didn't leave a mess because you weren't here. It was a most relaxing time. I love summer vacations because I don't have to go anywhere!
Edna: Margie, you can kiss my grits! I enjoy my vacation away from you, too. There's nobody telling tale tales in which they themselves are always the star, nobody crabbing about how the kitchen isn't clean (even when it's spotless), nobody I have to bail out of jail. My lands, one of these days I'm going to go on vacation and just not come back.
Margie: That would be the best summer ever. I like it when you're gone. I also like my new string bikini. So do the Margiedales. That Cousin T made me that mobile pool and we rode all over the place every day.
If you'd been here then all I'd have heard was your preaching about being a lady. I had good clean fun, you floozy.
Edna: Good clean fun and a string bikini do not go hand in hand, sister. And I heard all about your mobile pool from Mrs. Pastor, she was quite scandalized.
Margie, look here at what I brought back from my trip, it's one of those slow cookers. I'm looking forward to using it this fall for soups and stews. You know, back when we were girls, a "slow cooker" was someone who didn't get dinner on the table until 9PM.
Margie: Dingbat, I know what a slow cooker is. You've always been slow just like Granny Callahan. Lord a mercy, you eat so late that I'm in bed when the food gets done.
I found a new show to watch on TV while you were gone too. It's called "American Pickers" and I don't mean git-tars.
Edna: I've heard of that show; don't they go through other people's stuff and take things they want? Of course, unlike certain other people I could mention, they offer fair prices to the original owners.
I found a good TV show I liked this summer, too. It's called "The Good Guys" and it's a buddy cop show starring the son of that nice Tom Hanks and that guy from "The West Wing." Fox is bringing it back for the fall, so I guess they know a good thing when they see it.
Margie: Good for you. You best go buy yourself a TV before the new shows start. I've made my list of what I'm watching and I'm not going to listen to you yammer all the way through my shows.
Edna: No problem, Miss Bossy! I just happen to have found a few new blogs that I absolutely adore, and so I'll just make sure I'm busy reading them while you're watching your shows.
Vixen Vintage (This young lady has lovely taste in clothes.)
Hark, a Vagrant (I do so enjoy smart and funny comics and the people who create them.)
Edna: Well, I'll read them unless the Internet goes out. Then all bets are off.
Margie: When all bets go off then so will my pistol, sister.
Bathing beauties courtesy of the NYPL Digital Gallery
