The Best Kisser

Margie: Edna, we are going to have a pleasant evening so come in the parlor and let's have a nice cordial.

Listen to the rain on our tin roof. Isn't that nice? Let's talk.

Edna: You know it makes me nervous when you're this sweet and considerate, Margie. Just tell me who died, I can take it.

Margie: Edna, you can be so silly. Nobody died. I wanted us to discuss some happy memories.

For example, do you remember your first boyfriend? Weren't you about 7?

Edna: Hmph, that's not a very happy memory for me, considering you stole him from me. You always were into younger men, you big floozy.

Margie: Now now, sister. Let's be pleasant here. I know a memory that will be nice for you.

Who was the best kisser out of all the gentlemen you ever kissed? Tell the truth, Edna.

Edna: You'll have to pardon me, sister, it's just so unlike you to be pleasant. I'm a mite taken aback.

The best kisser out of all the gentlemen? Since there have been so few, what with me being a lady and all, it's not hard to pick one. That would have to be Stanley Richmond's grandpa, Mortimer. My stars, but that man could kiss! We had some good times up in the hayloft when we were both a whole lot younger.

Margie: Edna, you're a lying liar! No lady would have been in the hayloft with Mortimer. Besides, Daddy used to say he was going to lock you in your room if you didn't stop bringing so many boyfriends home.

You just won't let anybody have a pleasant time, Edna. You're a floozy! And, besides, you just took away my story of the best kisser I ever knew! I'll just go to bed!

Edna: See, folks? I knew she'd crack eventually.

Happy Valentine's Day

Margie and Cousin T: Picnic: Part II

Margie: Cousin T, isn't this a lovely place for a picnic? You pour us some special tea while I unpack the picnic basket. I do declare, it feels like Christmas without Edna here to gripe and complain.

I brought fried chicken, potato salad, and your favorites; pickled eggs and fried gizzards. Now you eat up and you can have your surprise for dessert.

Cousin T: You brought all of that and a surprise to boot, I would hug you if our family was the type to engage in that type of affection!

Margie: Well, we aren't but thank you for the thought. Here you go. It's your favorite Peanut Butter and Banana pudding.

By the way, how are we getting out of here?


Cousin T is Dumbstruck. No one, and he means no one has ever made all of his favorite things for the same meal. He has a sudden nearly uncontrollable urge to hug Miss Margie…and maybe even to give her a little kiss on the cheek. Instead he slowly lifts his head and says:

"I'll bet there is some old gas in Uncle Jaybirds barn. I hope it works; This gas would most probably be the 1 dollar 79 cent variety. My truck has gotten used to 4 dollar gas."

Margie: You smart boy. You've always been my favorite. Here's $ 2.21 to put in the gas tank. I think your truck will work fine then. You can fool it into thinking that's $4 gas now.

Jericho BBQ: 1951

Margie: Edna, remember that time Daddy threw a BBQ for the whole town?

Edna: I do. I remember the contests, too.

Margie: Which ones were your favorites, Edna? I liked Hogtie the Cowboy myself.

Edna: I just knew you were going to say that, Margie. My favorite was the unofficial "kissing contest" I ran back behind the barn. Good thing Daddy never knew about that.

Margie: Edna, there is nothing like a BBQ flavored kiss from a hogtied cowboy. Daddy would have chained you to your bed if he'd known that, Edna.

Edna: Frankly, I'm amazed you never told him, you always were such a little snitch. Now, you want to tell me why you're bringing all this up now?

Margie: Because Daddy made a movie of our BBQ & Cousin T put it on this YouTuber place. Watch.


From AuroraKismet