Last Summer Picnic

Margie: Edna, Fall is coming soon so we'll be stuck in the house more. I'm thinking we should go on one last picnic.

Remember when Daddy would load up the car and Mama would pack our lunch and we'd all go down to Skeeter's Creek? Let's make a plan sister.

Edna: You know, that's actually a wonderful idea! What did you have in mind to make for our picnic?

Margie: I thought I'd make potato salad and baked beans to go with some homemade BBQ shoulder. Why don't you make those nice deviled eggs and cheesecake you always make for the church suppers?

Edna: Oh, sounds lovely, I think I will. We ought to invite Cousin T along, don't you think?

Margie: If we do that, Edna, we'd best leave the special tea at home or the boy won't be able to drive us back. Maybe we'd best make extra food too. I never saw anybody who could devour food like Cousin T does. He'll eat anything.

Which means that he'll eat all your eggs and cheesecake so I won't have to.

Edna: Margie, you can bet your bottom dollar that I won't be cooking anything for this picnic if you're just going to sit and insult me. Maybe I ought to just go on a picnic by myself if you're going to be hateful.

Margie: Look at the pot calling the kettle black. I think you should picnic by yourself because you're just an old grouch.

I'll go with Cousin T and you let me know if you want to rent my car.

Edna: Oh, you'd just love it if I didn't go, wouldn't you? Well, I'm going along just to spite you. And I'll make my deviled eggs and cheesecake, but you're not getting any. How do you like them apples, you old crow?

Margie: Lord knows I'd rather eat crow as your old eggs. They cause me to backfire worse than the car does.

Edna: My lands, woman, you must be off your gol-durn meds! You're the one who suggested I make the deviled eggs in the first place, you loony.

That's it, I'm counting to ten because the doctor told me to watch my blood pressure. You'd best be out of this room before I get to ten or I won't be held responsible for what happens next.

Margie and Cousin T: Picnic: Part II

Margie: Cousin T, isn't this a lovely place for a picnic? You pour us some special tea while I unpack the picnic basket. I do declare, it feels like Christmas without Edna here to gripe and complain.

I brought fried chicken, potato salad, and your favorites; pickled eggs and fried gizzards. Now you eat up and you can have your surprise for dessert.

Cousin T: You brought all of that and a surprise to boot, I would hug you if our family was the type to engage in that type of affection!

Margie: Well, we aren't but thank you for the thought. Here you go. It's your favorite Peanut Butter and Banana pudding.

By the way, how are we getting out of here?


Cousin T is Dumbstruck. No one, and he means no one has ever made all of his favorite things for the same meal. He has a sudden nearly uncontrollable urge to hug Miss Margie…and maybe even to give her a little kiss on the cheek. Instead he slowly lifts his head and says:

"I'll bet there is some old gas in Uncle Jaybirds barn. I hope it works; This gas would most probably be the 1 dollar 79 cent variety. My truck has gotten used to 4 dollar gas."

Margie: You smart boy. You've always been my favorite. Here's $ 2.21 to put in the gas tank. I think your truck will work fine then. You can fool it into thinking that's $4 gas now.

Margie and Cousin T: Picnic: Part I

Margie: Cousin T, this was such a good idea to take a day trip while Edna was gone. She'd have been flapping her gums and making us crazy if she was here.

I'm glad we have our picnic lunch too. I brought all your favorites but that's a surprise for later.


Cousin T: A surprise for later is almost as good as one you get right away. How long have we been drivin' anyway?

Margie: Cousin T, I do declare. I think we're out of gas. How can that be? I bought $5 worth!

Cousin T: Look, they shut down the old Exxon station. No gas to be had there.
I hope we make it to the next station Miss Margie them skies aint looking to good.




Margie: I think we best look around and find some shelter. Let's stop and eat our lunch until the storm passes.

Cousin T: Uncle Jaybird's storm cellar is right near here he won't be needin' it where he is.


Margie: I haven't thought about Uncle Jaybird in years. Let's go there and have our picnic. I sure hope he's not haunting the place.
I'd like to enjoy my lunch.

Cousin T: The shelter's 'round back of the house. Green skies – Hurry now - might be a twister to add to your lunch surprise. Down here Miss Margie - "watch your step, your head and your mouth" as momma used to say.





Part II coming Thursday!