Sunday Funnies

Have a great Sunday!!

Edna's Giggle-licious Fun Friday

Edna: Personal taste in humor is an interesting thing. It's hard to predict, and even harder to explain. Some people like cerebral humor, some people gravitate to the silly. What makes me laugh isn't necessarily what makes you laugh, and that's okay. Goodness knows, if we were all the same, the world would be a boring place indeed.

Now, my sister frequently tells me how silly I am, and sometimes she's right. (But don't you dare tell her I said that!) The silly and the absurd tend to make me laugh out loud, which is why I'm sharing this clip with you for Fun Friday this week. It makes me giggle, and giggling just makes me happy, which is exactly what I need at the end of the week. Enjoy!



*rated PG-13 for mild adult language and content

The Exercise Program

Edna: Margie, I heard the oddest thing when I was at the beauty parlor yesterday, but...I'm just not sure what to make of it.

Margie: Lawsy me, Edna, there's no telling what you heard in that place of old gossips. What did you hear?

Edna: You remember Junie Jenkins? Well, that Midge who does my hair down at the salon, she told me that her husband told her that he and his brother-in-law were called to install a big metal pole in Junie's rec room. The thing looked just like a fireman's pole, to hear Midge tell it. Now, what on earth would Junie want a fireman's pole for in her rec room? For the life of me, I just can't figure it out.

Margie: Well, maybe it's a toy for her kids or maybe Junie is practicing to be a firewoman. I can't think of what else it could be used for.

Edna: Come to think of it...maybe it has something to do with that exercise program we saw on the news the other night. You know, the one about the gals dancing around poles to lose weight? But surely no one would go to all the trouble of actually putting one of those poles in their house just to exercise, would they? What ever happened to just taking a walk?

Margie: I don't know much about new-fangled things, Edna, but I'd rather dance with a gentleman myself. Who wants to exercise with a pole? How can that make you lose weight ?

That reminds me of some Navy boys I knew. They sure loved to dance with me and I suppose we got a little exercise in if you catch my drift. Ahem! Did you want to try one of those poles, sister?

Edna: No way, not at our age! It sounds like a good way to break a hip. Not to mention it seems very unladylike, what with your arms and legs and whatnot all flailing around. I'll stick to my morning constitutional and leave the poles to the young folks, thank you very much.

Moving Out

Margie: Edna, I was just looking through this shoebox and found these old papers where Mama and Daddy bought this house in 1930. They paid $7100.00 for it when it was new. Lord a mercy, Edna, that wouldn't even pay our electric bill for a year nowadays.

Edna: Well, it might if you'd stop leaving the TV on all night! I swear, sometimes I think it's just a big square night light to you.

My lands, I wonder how much that amount would be today, with inflation factored in? It seems like a relatively small amount now, but it was a lot to folks back then.

Margie: That's what I was thinking, Edna, so I had an idea. Let's call the real estate lady and have her come over. She can tell us what the house is worth now then you can buy my half or we can sell the place and split the money.

I'm moving to California to live on the beach. By myself, Edna.

Edna: Oh happy day, she wants to live by herself! Will wonders never cease? You go ahead and call that real estate lady and see what she has to say. But if you think I'm buying out your half, you've got another thing coming. This house is way too much work for one old lady. I have half a mind to move to one of those assisted living places I saw on the news, where all the elderly gentlemen take Viagra and it's a non-stop party.

Margie: I'll call today, hussy. The only reason this house is too much work for you is because you expect to be waited on like a queen.

Yes, you should go to the home but I'm going to the beach where those half nekkid men don't need any Viagra.

Edna: You are a mean old shrew who completely underestimates the amount of work I do around here. Fine, go live by yourself, you'll see just how invaluable I really am. I hope those nekkid men take one look at you and run the other way. If they're sane, they will. Perhaps I should warn them ahead of time.

Admit it, though, Margie; if you moved away, you'd miss Cousin T something awful.

Margie: You're the shrew, you lying liar. Cousin T is going with me. I won't leave him here to be corrupted by you!

I'm taking Mama's silver too and the car and the still and several other things you don't need to worry about.

Edna: Oh no you don't, Mama said that silver was supposed to be split up between the two of us! Don't you make me call a lawyer over this, you thieving thief! And the car, too? You must be plumb out of your mind.

As for Cousin T, I can't imagine he'd willingly move anywhere with you. He's a sweet boy, but you'd best leave him here where he has friends. Besides, you'd traumatize him, carrying on with half-nekkid men the way you plan to. Hussy.

Margie: That does it, you flaming floozy. No way am I leaving here so you can be happy. I'll be staying right here to make your life as miserable as I can!

By the way, Edna, somebody spilled pancake syrup all over your bed. Hussy.

Edna: Well, if that SOMEBODY is planning on sticking around, then SOMEBODY had better go clean the pancake syrup off of my bed. Or SOMEBODY is going to get quite a surprise when they go to put their shoes on tomorrow morning.

Happy Memorial Day

We hope everyone has a safe and happy
Memorial Day.

And, as always, our deepest thanks go to the
men and women in the military
who have died while in service to our country.

Love, Margie and Edna

Sunday Funnies

Reporter: "So you are 100 years old. How did you manage to live so long?"

Old man: "Well, son, I got married when I was 21. The wife and I decided that if we had arguments, the loser would take a long walk to get over being mad. I suppose I have been benefited most by 79 years of fresh air."



Joke courtesy of Pruneville.com
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons, property of Jonathan Smith

Fun Friday

Margie: Every time Edna gets mad at me, which is more often than she'd admit, she always tells me that I'm not worth a plugged nickel. Has anybody ever told you that?

Here's something fun that should set the record straight. Just wait until Edna sees this. Try it for yourself.

Want to see how much you're really worth? Take this fun quiz and set people straight.

Hear this, Edna! My worth is $2,380,042.00. Eat your heart out. Too bad you can't sell me.

So, how much are you worth?