Icercise

Cousin T: I came as quick as I could Miss Margie. Bobby Fink delivered your message to high tail it over here and bring my goo-lashes. But it hain’t rained in weeks - more likely to snow I’d say.

Margie: Slow down, Cousin T, and open your ears.
You know how folks make all these New Year's revolutions? Some say they want to diet or take a trip or whatever. You know?

Cousin T: Yeah, like for instance, mine is to quit having damn fool notions

Margie: Good. Here's my notion then. You take that hose of ours and go in the back yard and run water until the back fills up. That water should freeze real quick. We'll be ice skating in no time.Then we'll charge folks to come skate and tell them this is good exercise.

Cousin T: Them revolutions is over rated anyhow. Do you think I should cut the grass first so we get less of it sticking up through the ice?

Margie: Cousin T, you know I don't know a thing about yard work. Wait. Wouldn't a little grass sticking up be a pretty decoration?

You decide and I'll go make your fried apple pies.

Sunday Funnies

The Exercise Program

Edna: Margie, I heard the oddest thing when I was at the beauty parlor yesterday, but...I'm just not sure what to make of it.

Margie: Lawsy me, Edna, there's no telling what you heard in that place of old gossips. What did you hear?

Edna: You remember Junie Jenkins? Well, that Midge who does my hair down at the salon, she told me that her husband told her that he and his brother-in-law were called to install a big metal pole in Junie's rec room. The thing looked just like a fireman's pole, to hear Midge tell it. Now, what on earth would Junie want a fireman's pole for in her rec room? For the life of me, I just can't figure it out.

Margie: Well, maybe it's a toy for her kids or maybe Junie is practicing to be a firewoman. I can't think of what else it could be used for.

Edna: Come to think of it...maybe it has something to do with that exercise program we saw on the news the other night. You know, the one about the gals dancing around poles to lose weight? But surely no one would go to all the trouble of actually putting one of those poles in their house just to exercise, would they? What ever happened to just taking a walk?

Margie: I don't know much about new-fangled things, Edna, but I'd rather dance with a gentleman myself. Who wants to exercise with a pole? How can that make you lose weight ?

That reminds me of some Navy boys I knew. They sure loved to dance with me and I suppose we got a little exercise in if you catch my drift. Ahem! Did you want to try one of those poles, sister?

Edna: No way, not at our age! It sounds like a good way to break a hip. Not to mention it seems very unladylike, what with your arms and legs and whatnot all flailing around. I'll stick to my morning constitutional and leave the poles to the young folks, thank you very much.

Edna's Fun Friday: Physical Fitness

Edna: You know, all that talk earlier this week about increasing endorphin levels got me to thinking that I should start up an exercise routine to make me feel better. But since I'm an elderly lady with weak bones, it will have to be low-impact. Imagine my excitement when I found this on the YouTube, do you think this might do the trick?

Margie's Fun Friday

Margie: I'm not one to watch reality shows on TV. I watch TV to escape. If you had to live with Edna you'd want to escape too. She actually deserves her own reality show but who'd want to watch her screech all day?

Anyway, I have discovered one show I do enjoy and that's The Biggest Loser. I bet you can't guess why I like it? It's all because of one of the show's trainers, Jillian Michaels. She amazes me. Thank goodness I don't need a trainer.

I love to watch the folks exercise then hear Jillian tell them, "I don't care if you die. Keep walking." Maybe I watch this show because I'm afraid Jillian might find out if I didn't. Lawsy me. I'd rather face Edna than Jillian any old day.

People sometimes start to throw up but Jillian tells them they'd better just keep on exercising. This lady means business. She does have a little soft side although I doubt she'd want anyone to know. She does support and encourage her team and tells them they can do anything. I like that.

Maybe I could hire Jillian as Edna's trainer? That would sure give me a break. Now where's my phone book?

Exercise

Margie: Edna, you said this shooting pool is good exercise so you'd show me how to play. Why are you saying I owe you $100?

Edna: Margie, didn't I tell you about the teaching fee? You really should turn up your hearing aid, you old bat. Now, let's go down to Bailey's so I can collect more...teaching fees.