Edna's Excellent Adventure

Edna: Margie, I've had it up to here with your constant nonsense, so you know what? I'm taking a vacation without you. I sold some of my old jewelry that Joe gave me while we were married, and I have enough to go on a short cruise. Hasta la vista, baby!

Margie: Thank the Lord for answering my prayers. You being gone will be my vacation for sure. Hop on down the road, fruit loop.

As you said, hasty up the vista. Yee haw!

Edna: Don't get too excited, I won't be gone forever. Just long enough to pick me up a sugar daddy, I hear there are all kinds of well-to-do gentlemen these cruises.

You know, I've wanted to go on a cruise ever since that Love Boat was on the television. Such a crush I had on that Captain Stubing!

Margie: Edna, you're not very bright. If you are going to try to pick up a sugar daddy then you'll be gone a very long time. You best take some running shoes if you plan to chase the gentlemen when they try to get away from you.

Be sure to climb to the highest point on the ship so you can look down and have a good view of all the men on deck.

Edna: Just for that snide remark, I won't be bringing you back any souvenirs. Now come help me pack, and bring that bikini you bought last week. I have a feeling I might need it.

Margie's School of Romance

Margie: Edna, you know men have changed. They used to be gentlemen but men of today have lost their sense of romance. I believe in education so I'm going to start teaching classes in the basement.

Margie's School of Romance
Opening Soon
For gentlemen of all ages

Edna: Margie, I don't think you're qualified to be teaching that class. I think you'd better offer a money-back guarantee, because I know you're going to have some unsatisfied customers.

Margie: Edna, I haven't had an unsatisfied customer yet. Don't you remember how it felt when you got a lovely letter from a nice gentleman? I'm talking about a letter praising your virtues? Forget it, you don't have any.

Edna: As everyone in Jericho knows, there is no lady more virtuous than I am, so I surely would enjoy receiving a letter from a nice gentleman. I wouldn't want one from the men in your class though; anyone who looks to you for guidance about romance would have to be off their rocker.

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Ask Margie and Edna

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Edna's Favorite TV Shows

Oh my stars and garters, how do you like that folks? I turn my back for one minute and my sister tries to take over the blog. Well, two can play at this game, Margie!

I surely do love to watch television. Gracious, I just love my stories! And some days, it feels like I’m living in a television show myself. But you know, it seems like they don’t make these shows like they used to.

I remember that I enjoyed watching that show, Gidget. That girl was just a bundle of energy, and cute as a button, too! But I saw her a while back on that Academy Awards show and she was just a sniveling mess. I guess maybe Moondoggie dumped her or something, but she must have bounced back because I saw her just the other day on the TV selling bone medicine. Good for her!

Oh, and you know I never missed an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show! That man was sure light on his feet back in the old days, and so funny and clever. And let me tell you, Mr. Van Dyke surely is aging well. It’s not often you see a man his age with such a full head of hair. Dick, you can call on me anytime. But if my sister answers the door, you turn around and run. If she catches you she’ll lock you up in the basement lickety-split, so you just run like the wind!

One show that used to remind me of home was that Green Acres. My lands, how I used to laugh at those city-slickers trying to live on their farm. Although personally, I think the pig stole the show.

And don’t get me started on The Love Boat! Once I saw that show, it was my life’s dream to go on a cruise. Why, you never knew who you were going to see onboard! I used to beg my second husband to take me on a cruise to Acapulco, but he said that we couldn’t take the time away from the farm. I think what he was really worried about was that I’d fall in love with that Captain Steubing and never come home.

Now it seems like I don’t have as much time for watching television any more. There are so many chores that take up the day, and some nights I'm even too tired to drink my elderberry cordial out on the front porch with my sister. But one show I stay awake for every week is Supernatural. Lordy, but that show is scary! I will tell you this, though: it takes the edge off of some of the creepiness to be able to watch two such handsome young men do their jobs. Goodness, maybe they could come visit me and do something about the old demon that I live with.