The Midnight Buffet

Dear Margie,

Well, I finally figured out how to get the pictures into the computer so I could send you an email. I'm having such fun on this cruise, and the gentlemen bring apple-tinis by the dozen to my table every night!

I took the picture below myself last night, it's of the midnight buffet they serve on the cruise ship. Doesn't all the food look wonderful?

Love, Edna


Margie: Well, it looks like the same garbage she cooks at home. I hope it was free.

Margie hears from Edna

From: cruisinedna@yahoo.com
Subject: Eat your heart out, old woman!
To: margieandedna@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 2:05 PM

Dear Margie,

Well, isn't technology marvelous? Even out here in the middle of the ocean, I can send you an email to tell you have much fun I'm having without you! This cruise was such a wonderful idea, I'm glad I thought of it.

There are so many lovely gentlemen on this boat, I have my pick of the litter. The captain is quite a looker, and goodness, he does look sharp in his uniform. He let me steer the boat for a while the other evening, but he got handsy and distracted me while I was steering so I had to nip that in the bud. What if I'd steered us into another boat or something?

I should have gone on this trip years ago, I've always said that every lady should take a grand trip at least once in her life. I've seen so many lovely things. A gentleman friend of mine has let me borrow his digital camera and I've taken some dandy pictures! As soon as I figure out this uplink doohickey, I'll send you some photos. In the mean time, you behave yourself, you hear me?

Love, Edna

++++++++++++++

From: margieandedna@yahoo.com
Subject: RE: Eat your heart out, old woman!
To: cruisinedna@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 2:58 PM

Dear Edna,

Why do you always pretend you can't wait to get away from me yet you contact me every time you go on vacation? I am having fun here too.

I haven't put on a stitch of clothes since you left. I'm as free as a bird. I do have to be careful, though, when I'm drinking my coffee.

I don't believe a word of your nonsense. What have you been drinking on that boat? You know you have to be careful with your allergies.

You keep on dreaming, Edna. I hope you meet a man who can stand your sharp tongue then you can just get married on the ship and keep on cruising.

I have to go now. I'm meeting the VFW down at Bailey's Tavern. I'm going to find me a young one and ask him to walk me home because I'm scared of the dark.

Don't forget to lean over the rail and take a nice picture of the water.

Your sister,

Margie

Edna's Excellent Adventure

Edna: Margie, I've had it up to here with your constant nonsense, so you know what? I'm taking a vacation without you. I sold some of my old jewelry that Joe gave me while we were married, and I have enough to go on a short cruise. Hasta la vista, baby!

Margie: Thank the Lord for answering my prayers. You being gone will be my vacation for sure. Hop on down the road, fruit loop.

As you said, hasty up the vista. Yee haw!

Edna: Don't get too excited, I won't be gone forever. Just long enough to pick me up a sugar daddy, I hear there are all kinds of well-to-do gentlemen these cruises.

You know, I've wanted to go on a cruise ever since that Love Boat was on the television. Such a crush I had on that Captain Stubing!

Margie: Edna, you're not very bright. If you are going to try to pick up a sugar daddy then you'll be gone a very long time. You best take some running shoes if you plan to chase the gentlemen when they try to get away from you.

Be sure to climb to the highest point on the ship so you can look down and have a good view of all the men on deck.

Edna: Just for that snide remark, I won't be bringing you back any souvenirs. Now come help me pack, and bring that bikini you bought last week. I have a feeling I might need it.