Edna: Now Margie, I know you don't like to hear anything that has to do with Aunt Biddy, but I need to tell you about a phone call I just got.
Margie: That's fine, Edna. Which funeral home did they send her to and I'm not going.
Edna: Honestly, Margie, I am alarmed at how heard-hearted you are! She's not dead, you nitwit. Well, unless she died some time after I hung up the phone with her a few minutes ago. She wanted to talk to me about her two boys who just got put in the Kansas state pen near here.
Margie: Lawsy me, Edna. What did those boys do now? Why did she want to talk to you about it? Because you almost went to the Pen once?
Edna: Margie, I did not almost go to the Pen! Good grief, you're thinking of the plot from that late-night movie we watched last week. Aunt Biddy says that her boys are in the Pen for check fraud. Bless their dim-witted hearts, they tried to cash those fake checks using their real IDs, and the coppers snatched those boys right up. Now, here's the real bad news...you'd best sit down for this.
Margie: I'll sit down, Edna, but you just remember I have my pistol aimed to shoot you right between the eyes.
Edna: Well then, it's a good thing that I had Cousin T hide your bullets. Aunt Biddy says her boys are going to be in prison for a year, and she wants to move here to stay with us while they're in the pokey, so she can be closer to them. You know how she dotes on her boys.
Margie: Edna, let me make myself perfectly clear. Wait and let me put my teeth back in my mouth.
I'd rather adopt Johnny Cash Biddy and Elvis Aron Biddy as to have Aunt Biddy anywhere near me. If you'd like to rent a house and move out with her then feel free. I have extra bullets and I will shoot the both of you. If that fails then I'll burn this house down so she has nowhere to stay.
Edna: Now hold on a minute sister, it's just like you to jump to conclusions! Did I say I told her "yes"? What I told her is that if those boys were darn-fool enough to get themselves into that kind of trouble, they deserve to be away from their mama. Maybe it might teach them a lesson about making better choices. Besides, I spent more than enough time with that idiot woman and her brood down in Florida this past summer, what makes you think I'd want to live with her for a year? That whole family is crazy, and I get enough of "crazy" just living with you.
Margie: Edna, it looks like I taught you something after all. You're a good sister. Well, sometimes.
Edna: Why Margie, you're making me blush. I told Aunt Biddy that if she calls here again, you'll be answering the phone. I don't think we'll hear from her for a good long while.
The Biddy Boys.
Aren't they a couple of handsome devils?
