Dear Santa,
Margie here. I'm sorry we haven't spoken since 1947 but I've felt sure you never got over me turning down your marriage proposal. I hope you understand that I would never have defied my parents and they had many concerns about me marrying you.
First, Daddy said a gentleman would have a proper vehicle in which to come calling on a lady. A sleigh is not one.
Two, Mama said a gentleman does not court a lady without changing his clothes on occasion. She hated your red suit.
Third, you know I told you that I could never live with a bunch of elves who hammered and banged all night for 365 days a year.
I'm hoping that eases your mind as I do need to ask your help this Christmas. My finances are tight in our current economy so I'm asking you to deliver some gifts for me. Here's my list:
Please bring Cousin T a new hat to wear to church. I think he'd look quite dapper in red.
Please bring my sister, Edna, a year's supply of her medicine. She's never gotten over those headaches you caused her to have from all that "Ho, Ho, Ho" stuff.
Finally, all I want is this:
Merry Christmas,
Margie
