Edna and the Pheasant Hat

Edna always believed herself to be the fashion queen of Jericho. She was always up to date on what was hot in NY & had to be the first in Jericho to have it.

One day Edna saw an ad in the NY Times:





Edna placed her order, the kit arrived, and Edna made her hat. Daddy laughed so hard when he saw it that Edna got as mad as an old wet hen. Daddy said he hoped there were no pheasant hunters in town.

Edna made me go for a walk with her so she could show off the hat. We happened by Richmond Farm & saw Stanley's great-grandpa sitting on the porch. He was near blind as a bat.

As we passed by, he let out a yelp and grabbed his shotgun. He shot those pheasant feathers clean into smithereens. I had never seen Edna as mad as she was that day.

I suppose you think Edna lit into old man Richmond & called him everything but his name. No. Edna lifted her head and high-stepped it home without saying a word.

When we got home, though, and Edna told Daddy what had happened, Daddy got up, put on his hat, and left the house without a word. We never did hear exactly what happened but I do know there was talk in Bailey's that old man Richmond never picked up another gun as long as he lived.

Daddy looked after us girls.

Redneck Relatives

Mama was a refined, gracious lady but that did not exempt her from having kin that embarrassed her.

Cousin Billie Jo is the daughter of Mama's baby sister. Poor Mama always said she couldn't understand how such an uncouth brood existed.

Cousin Billie Jo married John Rayburn Brummitt who is a kindly man but a drunkard. Mama once asked Billie Jo if John Rayburn drank and Billie Jo said, "Only when he's thirsty."

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Margie: Edna, I got a letter from Cousin Billie Jo in Tennessee. You want to help me answer it?

Edna: Margie, you are welcome to answer that letter yourself if you have the time. Besides, I'm not speaking to Cousin Billie Jo since she called me wanting bail money, and then didn't even send a thank you note after it was wired!

Margie: Bail money? You never told me that!

Edna: What, you think I tell you everything? Just read the letter already, I don't have all day.
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Dear Cousin Margie,

This here's yor cousin billie jo. I got youn's letter t'day and wuz glad to hear from youn's. That Edna always was a pistol ball. Ain't she? I told all the folks bout her-whatcha said n all bout her and them there town fellas.

Wish y'all could come see us. Been a long while since we seed youn's. John Rayburn's been tending to the farm as aways. Always sumthin to do round this here place.

John jr. dun gone and signed up to go to the army. Said he's had enuff schooling. Alma Jean got herself hitched down to the walmark parking lot. them walmark folks is nice They said we could have the weddin'doings down there seein how alma jean works for em and all. she was perty and a good time was had by all. we did miss yor special tea tho, Margie.

After the weddin' seems like the whole town showed up for dinner. smoked a pig all night before and made turnip greens. that was some fine pot likker. Oh, the girls from the Sunday school pulled out all the stops. They brung ever kind of them casseroles you kin imagine. Tater salad and beet pickles, and one of them kilt and fried 12 chickens.

Cousin Hershel snuck in some hooch & we all said we thunk of you & cousin edna.

Hear's a pitcher of John rayburn, hershel, and john junior.

Rite me back, Margie, and tell Edna we may come see youn's & bring the whole busload of kin with us.

love,
billie jo