Fruity Friday, cake edition

We know it might be too hot where you are to fire up the oven, but if it's not then we recommend this recipe.  It's sure to cure what ails you!

Fruity Pineapple Cake, courtesy of Chef Lennie.

Summer holiday

Summertime is in full swing, and that means it's time for us to take a holiday.  Starting next week, Margie and Edna will be on hiatus during the month of July, but don't worry because the ladies will be back in full force in August.  In the meantime, we suggest to our readers that you spend some time offline during the month of July, and enjoy being with your friends and family. Go outside for a little sunshine and fresh air, if it's not too hot where you are.  Do a little traveling, even if it's just a mental vacation.  Recharge your batteries, and we'll be doing the exact same thing.  But don't get so relaxed that you forget to come back.  See you in August!


Love, Jane (Margie) and Beth (Edna)

Call the dentist!

Margie: Edna, did you know that June is National Candy Month? Silly me, I forgot that you think every month is candy month. That reminds me, have you seen my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? Don't even try that old lie about you guess a rat got them. We don't have rats!

Edna:  Oh, I ate them all right.  You're so bitter and mean, I figured you wouldn't miss your sweets. Happy Candy Month!

Margie: That is very hateful, sister. If you were a candy then you'd be Sour Apple!

Edna:  Well, if YOU were a candy, you'd be a Dum-Dum!

Frozen Fruity Friday

Margie: Look at this, sister. I've found the perfect way to beat this summer heat. Fruit desserts. What could be cooler or more refreshing?  I'm going to start eating a different dessert every day to stay cool.  Why don't you get Mama's old fan so you can fan me while I enjoy my dessert?

Edna:  I'm going to ignore that request, sister.  But you've certainly got the right idea about keeping cool by eating fruit desserts.  It's so hot outside, all I want to eat these days is cold fruit. These triple-decker citrus popsicles look like they'll do quite nicely.

Margie: Hand me one of those sister, then I'll go make some Special Tea popsicles. After one of those we won't even realize how hot it is.

Edna:  You're on!

Ice cream soda day!

Margie: Edna, today is Ice Cream Soda Day and Lord knows it's too hot for anything else. I'm going to go put on my bikini. When I get back I'm making me a huge strawberry ice cream soda then I'm going to sit by the pool. You'd best stay inside as you know what the sun does to your old wrinkles.

Edna:  Don't worry, Margie, there is no way I'm appearing in public next to you if you're dressed like that.  I'll stay inside with my own ice cream soda, where it's cool.  Don't expect me to put aloe on your sunburn later, either.

 Margie: Thank you, sister, for that idea you just gave me. I'm going to sit in the shade and sell ice cream sodas to whoever wants one. I expect to be extremely busy so you may have to run to the store to get more ice cream for me.

Edna:  It's your idea so you can do it your own self, you freeloader.  It's not "help your sister make money that she's not going to share with you anyway" day.

Margie: You're right. It's a day to sell ice cream sodas to handsome gentlemen and keep all the cash for myself. Stay out of my way.

Margie the TV star

Margie: Edna, I have a secret. I didn't tell you before now because you always interfere in my business. Anyway, I was watching the Food Network and they're looking for new talent. I had Cousin T make a video of me cooking and it's in the mail. I'm calling my show Margie's Manly Meals. I'll be cooking for different manly men every week. The ratings will be the highest in history. How do you like that?

Edna:  Margie, what do I care if you humiliate yourself on national television?  You'll just be showing the world what I already know: that you're a shameless hussy who can't cook.

And poor Cousin T, I wish you wouldn't involve that boy in your shenanigans.  He was raised to respect his elder's requests, even when said elder is a nincompoop.

Margie: See? You're trying to interfere in my business. You're just jealous. You don't want me to be a star. Well, once I'm a star, I may have your manly Frenchman on my show. How do you like them apples?

You best watch who you call names, Missy. You won't be sharing my new riches if you keep it up.

Edna:  If you think I want anything to do with your floozy money, then you've got another think coming.

Margie: What I think is that you're a moron because floozy money spends as well as any other kind.

Fruity Friday, carving edition

Edna:  Margie has always said she wished she were more artistic and creative.  The poor dear, she can't draw her way out of a paper bag.  So, to cheer her up I thought I'd surprise her by enrolling her in a fruit carving class.  Her hands are fairly steady for a nonagenarian.  I did think long and hard about the wisdom of putting a knife in those hands, but as long as we keep fruit in the house I think I'm safe.

I've been looking at fruit carvings on the interwebs, there are a lot of talented people out there!

For instance, this one reminds me of how I look when I see Margie first thing in the morning:

And this one looks a little like the hat Margie wore to church last Sunday.

And this is what I'm going to have Margie carve for our ladies book club meeting next week. Won't she be thrilled when I tell her all the ladies are expecting it?

I'm sure she'll get the hang of it in time.