Ice cream soda day!

Margie: Edna, today is Ice Cream Soda Day and Lord knows it's too hot for anything else. I'm going to go put on my bikini. When I get back I'm making me a huge strawberry ice cream soda then I'm going to sit by the pool. You'd best stay inside as you know what the sun does to your old wrinkles.

Edna:  Don't worry, Margie, there is no way I'm appearing in public next to you if you're dressed like that.  I'll stay inside with my own ice cream soda, where it's cool.  Don't expect me to put aloe on your sunburn later, either.

 Margie: Thank you, sister, for that idea you just gave me. I'm going to sit in the shade and sell ice cream sodas to whoever wants one. I expect to be extremely busy so you may have to run to the store to get more ice cream for me.

Edna:  It's your idea so you can do it your own self, you freeloader.  It's not "help your sister make money that she's not going to share with you anyway" day.

Margie: You're right. It's a day to sell ice cream sodas to handsome gentlemen and keep all the cash for myself. Stay out of my way.

Treasure, there be!

Margie: Edna, lookie here at this new shovel I bought you. I got me a pink one. Would you like to know why I bought them? I'll tell you.

I went to the home to do some visiting and I saw a gentleman that I hadn't seen before. Turns out it was Irving. Remember him? He was your high school crush. Anyway, he said his great-grandpa told him that our great-grandpa had told him that he buried money in this very back yard. Let's get to digging, Edna, and I'll share some of my treasure with you.

Edna: Margie, don't you dare dig up our backyard, I just planted our summer annuals! Besides, you are way too old for this treasure-hunting nonsense. Who do you think you are, a pirate? You'll give yourself a heart attack with that digging, maybe we'd best buy us a metal detector then have Cousin T dig when we hit metal.

And darn tootin' you'll share the loot with me! I do own half of this property so half the treasure is rightly mine.

Margie: Well, I suppose a metal detector would be best but I'll do the detecting! Edna, I sure was looking forward to using my pink shovel because it matches my bikini.

Edna: Good God a'mighty. Maybe that pink bikini is the answer; you wear that outside and the treasure will all but leap out of the ground so you can go back inside and stop your assault on the eyes.

You know, you're awfully quick to trust the word of an old man who may or may not be remembering things correctly. What if there's no treasure out there?

Margie: Edna, there will be treasure even if you just go bury a jar of your old coins. I won't be fit to live with if I don't find treasure.

Edna: What makes you think you're fit to live with NOW?