Edna's Pigtails

Edna: Good grief Margie, what are you cackling about now? You were laughing so loudly, you woke me up from my nap!

Margie: Oh Edna, I had a memory of you and couldn't help myself. Do you remember when you were in 2nd grade and Mama thought you looked so cute in pigtails?

You hated those things but you knew better than to sass Mama. We walked home from school every day with you crying all the way. You said Bobby Joe pulled your pigtails all day. How long did you have to wear those pigtails anyway?

Edna: Until Mama said I was old enough to wear my hair up. Unfortunately, that wasn't until I was 16. Lordy, but Mama had old-fashioned ideas.

Margie: Edna, Mama tried to raise you right. Just goes to show you can't make a nice purse out of pig's ears.

Edna: Kiss my grits, Margie.

Margie: Still a crybaby.

Fun Friday: Edna gets artistic

Edna: For this Fun Friday, I would like to share one of my favorite artists with you, Mr. Maxfield Parrish. Every time I look at one of his illustrations, I just want to jump right in there and dream for a while.

This one is called "Hilltop." Can't you just picture yourself resting under that tree and looking out at the mountains? I sure can.

Happy Birthday Elvis

Margie: Oh, Cousin T, I knew you'd drop by today. You always remember Elvis' birthday.

You sit down right there because I've made us some fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. You know how Elvis loved them.

Cousin T: He loved his Momma too and I can certainly relate to that. I can never stop thinking about him young and singing "My Happiness" and thinking about just how happy that must have made her.

Margie: Yes, you're both Momma's boys. Will you take me to Graceland next year?

Cousin T: I would love to "Follow the highway through the cradle of the civil war " with you Miss Margie and touch the green, green grass of Elvis' home.

Margie: And I want to park my rear end where Elvis once put his.

Happy birthday Elvis!

Peculiar People Day

Margie: Cousin T, I was just reading in the paper that this Saturday is a holiday. It's called Peculiar People Day.

Lawsy me, I've known some peculiar folks in my life for sure. I won't call names but my sister is one of them.

Do you know any peculiar people?


Cousin T: I was thinking just the other day that my cousin Jean is an odd bird. He describes everything like he see's a color. He'll say, "Don't you think this dish is a little on the blue side?" When he's talkin' about the sweet potatoes.


Margie: He is an odd one. I'm glad he's your cousin on the other side of your family.

I knew this strange girl once. Way before going to the moon was thought of, I said I'd like to go there. She launched into a monologue about gravity, oxygen, and things I'd never heard of. I never could make a simple statement of any kind around her.

Cousin T: Ask some people what time it is and they'll tell you how to build a clock. Speaking of... I'll bet that whoever came up with the cuckoo clock was peculiar. They had to be, or at least they had to be thought of as peculiar in that moment and time. if you ask me that is the peculiar thing about peculiar people day: Everyone's criteria for peculiar is different based on who they are and how they were raised... All of the sudden I feel like that girl who couldn't shut up about the moon.


Margie: Cousin T, I'll make us some Special tea. That seems to be one of the only two things in this house right now that isn't peculiar.

Our New Year's Resolutions

Margie: Edna, we make resolutions every New Year yet we never keep them. Why is that? I think I'll make some sensible ones this year.

Last year we said we'd cut back on eating so much chocolate and I declare I believe we ate more than ever. So, this year, I'll just say that I resolve to watch how much chocolate I eat.

Edna: That is indeed a sensible resolution, Margie, you go ahead and work on that if you want. But I'll tell you right now, I think the reason we never keep our resolutions is because they aren't any fun. So I'm going the frivolous route on my resolutions this time. After all, I'm an old lady; why shouldn't I enjoy my twilight years if I want to?

I'm going to try to be more glamorous this year. Hopefully Santa will bring me those sequinned tennis shoes I asked for. If not, I've got plenty of glittery rhinestone jewelry. I resolve to wear at least one sparkly thing every day.

Margie: Lord have mercy on us all. Edna, I think you're in the Twilight Zone with the stuff you come out wearing sometimes.

I never thought of glamorous as a term that describes you. However, if you can have such a silly resolution then I resolve to ogle more young men when I can.

Edna: Then I resolve not to criticize you when you do, even if I think you're a scandalous old hussy. Which I do.

But on that note, I resolve to try not to fight as much with you this year. Although you try my nerves on a daily basis.

Margie: I think you're a moron but I resolve to find a new name for you.

Edna, I resolve to try and hold my temper when you forget that you said you'd try not to fight as much with me.

Edna: And I resolve not to remind you what a shrew you are when you get mad and yell at me for something really silly.

Hmm, we're already not doing too well on our resolutions, are we? I really do resolve to be nicer to you, Margie. After all, you're the only family I have left, Lord help me.

Margie: And I resolve to be nicer to you, Edna. If you get tired of me being nice then you can move to Florida and be part of the Biddy Bunch.

Edna: Gladly. Now, I'm off to go look through my jewelry box for something glittery to wear tomorrow. Try to stay out of the chocolate, Margie.

Not-so-fun Friday

Edna: My lands, Margie, I think I did a touch too much celebrating during New Year's. I barely remember anything that happened over the last couple days, and my mouth tastes like someone walked all over my tongue. I think I need some Alka-Seltzer...

Margie: Is New Year's over, Edna ? What day is this? My head is about to explode.

Lord have mercy! This can't be real. Edna, why are there two of you sitting there?

Edna: Margie, you're seeing things, there's only the one of me. But my head sure does feel like it split in two. This is most definitely not a fun Friday for me. I swear, we're too old to be indulging in excess like this. It's a good thing Mama can't see us now, she'd scold us for being gluttonous and hedonistic. We reaped what we sowed, Margie, that's for sure.

Margie: Oh happy day! There's only one of you. Edna, we must have thought we were young'uns again.

Mama would be ashamed and she'd sure send us to bed with no supper. As a matter of fact, I believe I hear my bed calling my name.

Edna: Mine, too. I'm going to bed and sleep until my head stops swimming.

Next New Year's, I'm sticking to ginger ale.

Margie: I wouldn't go that far, Edna.

Happy New Year's!

Love, Margie and Edna