Forever Lazy

Margie: Lawsy me, sister, I found something named for you! It's called Forever Lazy and that describes you to a T. This is the very thing for you to laze around in all day. I think I'll buy you and Pastor both one of these because he's pretty lazy too.

Edna:  You can keep that overgrown onesie away from me.  I think that's the dumbest thing I've seen in a long time, and I look at you every day.  I'm not wearing anything that has, and I quote, "Zippered Hatches in Front and Back, for Great Escapes When Duty Calls."

Margie: Edna, I find it to be a wonderful thing when clothes are zippered so you can get out of them in a hurry. I can see many possibilities here.

Edna:  I should have known you'd find some way to floozy that up.

Have a Merman Christmas!

Edna:  Margie, I think I may have found your Christmas present, but I'm not sure I should buy it for you.  It panders to your lowest tastes, and I'm just not sure I want to do that.

 

Margie:  Oh Edna, I want one of each! Well, maybe 2 of those Candy Cane ones. I'll wash dishes for a year and never complain.

Edna:  Margie, I do believe I'd like a signed and notarized statement to that effect.  Merry Christmas to me!

Margie: Not so fast, nitwit! I wasn't born yesterday. I want to see the ornaments first. I'd best go buy some hooks too so Cousin T can hang all my ornaments from my bedroom ceiling.

Edna:  Lord knows it's been MANY yesterdays since you were born.  You've seen the ornaments, you idjit, they're all right there on that website.  I'll only buy them for you if you provide proof that you're going to stick to your promise.  Otherwise, it's lumps of coal in your stocking this year.

Margie: Edna, it makes me sad to think you don't trust your own sister. I'm glad Mama isn't here to see this. I'll get the proof and hand it to Deputy Jimmy when you show up with my ornaments then we'll trade.

No sister has ever made a life more complicated!

Edna:  You take all the joy out of gift-giving, Margie.


Photo courtesy of Blogadilla.com.  To see the Merman Christmas ornaments in all their glory, head over to Diamonds of the Sea.

We're On Facebook

Margie: Edna, I might as well live alone for all the company you are to me. You spend all your time playing that old Farmville game on Facebook. If you like farming that well, sister, I'll call Cousin T to bring you a hoe so you can make us a garden.

Edna: Margie, you bring that dictionary on over here to me, I want to show you the definition for the word "hypocrite". Who sets their alarm extra early in the morning so they can get to the computer first to check their crops? You, that's who!

I swan, folks, trying to get her away from Farmville is like trying to get her to stop looking at pictures of handsome cowboys: darn near impossible.

Margie: You always try to twist my words, Edna. I get up early to watch the news! Well, maybe I play a little bit.

If any cowboys out there want to friend me then come on over. We can feed the chickens together.

Edna: Folks, don't you friend her, friend me! I always send and return gifts, and I will fertilize your crops every day. Margie will just take your eggs and run the other direction. She'd steal your horses too, if she could.

Margie: Lying liar! You don't send me gifts and you try to steal my pumpkins too. I'll have you know that I don't steal horses!

Not unless the cowboy is attached.

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Trivia Day

Margie: I sure am glad the holidays are over. They get on my last nerve. I don't like decorating and I don't cook anymore and I'm too broke to buy gifts. Speaking of gifts, the best gift I got is Edna being gone.

When Edna is gone I don't need my nerve pills, I can enjoy the peace and quiet, and I can play Jeopardy without Edna squawking like a banshee.

Today is Trivia Day and I love trivia games. It's too bad that Edna does too because she's a sore loser. If you ever want to play some trivia games then here are some places you can go.

Margie's Fun Friday

Margie: What a hectic week it's been. Not only has there been shopping and cooking but how about all this snow and ice? I think we all deserve a break.

Edna has gone to town to try to exchange all the gifts she got for cash. She's so ungrateful.

Anyway, while Edna is gone and I have some peace I thought you all might want to escape with me and enjoy something relaxing.

Let's go.

Remembering S & H Green Stamps

Margie: Edna, look what I found in the cupboard while I was rummaging around trying to find my box of prunes. Mama left these to me in her will.

Let's test your memory. Do you recollect where Mama got these lovely cups?

Edna: Are you telling me that Mama left you prunes in her will? How very odd, since I got furniture.

Of course I remember where those cups came from, I'm not a complete idiot. I remember her saving up green stamps for a good long while before she traded them in for those pretty things.

Margie: I loved those stamps. Remember how Mama gave each of us our own book to put the stamps in? Once we'd filled our book Mama would let us get whatever we wanted.

I got a beautiful mirror once but you looked at yourself in it and it cracked. What did you get?

Edna: I got a pretty little lamp, I had that for years until you sold it at our last yard sale. I remember that you could get quality merchandise with the stamps, too. It wasn't like that cheap stuff you buy in the stores today, that falls apart after you've only used it a few months.

Margie: Isn't that the truth? Companies used to take pride in how long their product would last. Nowadays, they want it to tear up as quickly as possible.

Here's a little Ideabook, Edna. You can look at it and enjoy the memories.

Edna: Why, thank you sister. I wish they still had the green stamps redemption program, I could use a new lamp.