Happy Birthday Cookie Monster

Image by Sesame Workshop.


Margie: Edna, look at this. Your picture is in today's newspaper. Oh dear, they got your birthdate wrong. You weren't born on November 2nd.

Edna: Oh, very funny Margie. You know, one of us in this conversation got sick recently from eating too many teacakes, and it wasn't me. So I think you'd best check in the mirror if you want to see the real cookie monster.

Margie: Edna, I didn't say Cake Monster. Good grief! It describes you right here:

"can (and often does) consume anything and everything, from apples and pie to letters, flatware, and hubcaps."

That's you sister.

Edna: Margie, you're so unattractive when you're insulting. Besides, you know I eat like a bird. I inherited my delicate constitution from Mama's side of the family. You're the one who eats like a goat. I once saw you eat an entire cupcake, wrapper and all, without even blinking.

Margie: Edna, you are so funny when you lie. Delicate constitution my eye. You eat like a pig. Is a pig a bird?

I may have eaten a cupcake but I don't eat 2 funnel cakes in one sitting like you do.

Edna: Margie, I only ever did that once, and that was because you refused to eat the funnel cake I'd bought you. I just didn't want it to go to waste.

I'm getting hungry, I'm going to go make some brownies. And I don't plan on sharing.

Edna Makes Cupcakes

Edna: Margie, I’m so glad that Mr. Hawkins gave us this computer and that the Internet is back up and running. I’ve found so many wonderful new recipes to try! I wanted to make some cupcakes for Allison and Sam Hawkins, and I thought I’d take some to Deputy Jimmy’s two little ones as well. Here, try this cupcake, what do you think?

Margie: Edna, I hope this cupcake is not one of the ones you dropped on the floor. Ack. Spittt. Good Lord, Edna, there's enough oil in here to fry 4 chickens.

Edna: Well pardon me, Julia Child! I got the recipe from here. It’s from some woman named Paula Deen, I hear she’s over in Georgia. I don’t know how they’ve been faring for supplies over where she is, but all I have to say is that I wouldn’t have been able to make this recipe if we hadn’t been able to use our chickens to barter with down at the dairy farm. My lands, did you see the frosting recipe? Who does she think is going to have a pound of cream cheese just lying around these days? Well, besides us, that is.

Margie: Edna, we do love our cream cheese, don't we? I remember my second husband... never mind.

Edna: Margie, hush up, I’m still talking. Thank goodness for Trish at J&R. That sweetheart managed to find me some real vanilla extract, not that cheap imitation nonsense. I suppose I’d better take her a few cupcakes too. Good thing that Mr. Goetz is gone, he was most definitely the type to steal someone’s cupcakes.

Margie: Edna, looks like a few are missing now. Has Deputy Jimmy already been here?

Edna: Margie, you put those cupcakes down, I know where the missing cupcakes went. I won’t have any left to give away if you keep eating them!

Margie: I'm eating them so my friends don't have to suffer. Where's the Nuts?

Edna: Margie, I've had enough of you, I'm taking these cupcakes over to the Taylors before you eat them all.

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Beth's note: I did really make these cupcakes, so Edna isn't just blowing hot air. They're extremely tasty and very rich, and my co-workers loved them. But, they do seem to have just a bit too much oil in them; if I make them again, I'm going to either try to cut down on the oil (it calls for 1 and 1/2 cups!) or use half oil and half an alternative source (applesauce, maybe?). Also, I found that the frosting recipe made an insane amount of frosting, I only used half of it. If any of you have made this recipe before, please let me know what you thought of it.