April Fools

There were three men on a hill with their watches.

The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.

The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.

The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.

The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.

The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"

Such Devoted Sisters

Edna: Margie, my goodness but you look stunning today!

Margie: Edna, you’re a beautiful lady.

Edna: Margie, please give me some of your words of wisdom, I'm in need of the expert guidance that only you can provide.

Margie: My goodness, Edna, you flatter me. I think you're far wiser than I am. You're brilliant!

Edna: Margie, I think you exaggerate, you're clearly wiser than I am. And may I say, you certainly don't look like the older sister.

Margie: Edna, you are the best sister a person could have. Do you know I couldn't live without you?

Edna: Margie, you know I feel the same—oh, I can’t go on with this blather any longer! Can we please just yell “April Fools!” and have done with it?

Margie: I lie like a dog, Edna.

Edna: Nice to hear you finally admit it, you old bat.