Edna Writes Margie

Dear Margie,

Well, we made it to Miami Beach just fine; the Biddy Bus only broke down twice. Luckily, the last time was two blocks away from Aunt Biddy’s house, so we just hoofed it down the street until we got there. My lands, it surely is hot down here and this place is no better than a swamp. I do not know what all this humidity will do to my hair. I hope I don’t look a fright when we go visiting later. Aunt Biddy promised to introduce me to her gentleman friends and I do so want to look my best.

Love, Edna


Margie: I'll swan. I thought I was rid of my crazy sister for a while and she sends me a blasted postcard. Like I care, Edna.

Her hair? Lawsy me, Edna always looks a fright so I don't think she needs to worry about humidity!

I'd rather try to survive in the swamp as to meet any of Biddy's friends. You can bet there's not a gentleman amongst them. Not that that's ever stopped Edna.

Whew! I hope that's the last I hear from her.

Margie and Edna: Movin' Out?

Margie: Edna, the Rangers did everything they could to save Jericho. What will become of us now?

Edna: Margie, I know they fought very hard, but sometimes things are just beyond our control. Maybe we should find a new place to live...or at least go visit somewhere else for a while. What do you think?

Margie: I think you finally have a good idea, sister.

Edna: Margie, maybe we should go to Miami, I hear they have a good crime scene investigation unit there. I always say you can tell a town by its law enforcement.

Margie: Edna, Miami was hit by the blasts too. I heard there are more gentlemen there now than ladies. Let's go.

Edna: Margie, you dimwit. If it was hit in the blasts, then there isn't anyone there right now, gentlemen or ladies. We'd better find someplace else.

Margie: Edna, you're so hateful. I had my bikini ready.

Edna: Well then, I guess we all dodged a bullet there, Lord knows no one needs to see that. I know of someplace that's not too far from here, it's just down the road in Lawrence, Kansas.

Margie: Edna, I heard that place is haunted. I'd be scared.

Edna: Margie, I heard the same thing. But I also heard that there are two brothers there who can protect us. They're used to fighting demons. Say, I have something in common with them, you're a demon every morning before you have your coffee.

Margie: Funny, Edna, the only demon is you when you lose your temper. Two brothers? We could try them then. I mean try that town.

Edna: On second thought Margie, maybe we’d better not. Wasn’t Lawrence destroyed by the bombs too?

Margie: Yes, Edna, so we can't go there. Hmm...why don't we see if we can track these young men down and hitch a ride with them in their cool car? I do so love a back seat.

Edna: Margie, for their sake, maybe we'd better think of something else. I don't want you corrupting those two nice young men.

Margie: Edna, I'm tired of you. I think I'll just go all by myself to a remote Pacific island.

Edna: By yourself? Margie, you wouldn't get 30 yards down the road by yourself, you know how easily you get lost.

Margie: I hate you, Edna. I'll just go visit MY friends, the Beckers.

Edna: Your friends? Why are they just your friends, you selfish ninny?

Margie: Because, Edna, I wrote to them and we communicated very nicely.

Edna: Well, that's all well and good for you, but maybe we should go visit one of my favorite friends, Amy Vernon. She told me that I'm always welcome in her home. She probably meant as long as I didn't bring you.

Margie: I know Amy. She said she likes me best. You'd scare her children.

Edna: Don't you lie to me, I know what she told you, and it wasn't that she liked you BEST. You'd better turn up your hearing aid.

Margie: Hush up, Edna. We'd better go visit Mr. Skeet Ulrich. I bet he'd love to see us.

Edna: I'd better call ahead and warn him that we're coming, I know what you have in mind for that boy and it's not decent.

Margie: Edna, it is decent. I just want to take him a new towel.

Edna: Margie, it's nice of you to take him a new towel, but don't you dare give that boy any of your special tea. He'll wake up a week later, missing his new towel.

Margie: Edna, what a lovely thought. Thank you, sister.

Edna: Oh my Lord, what am I going to do with you? We're never going to decide what to do, at this rate.

Margie: Edna, I need time to think. Where do I want to go and do I leave you behind?

Edna: Well Margie, I guess I need time to think about those same things. How long should we take to decide?

Margie: Until I say I've decided. I’ll leave you, Edna.

Edna: No you wouldn't Margie. I'm all you have left, and you're all I have left, especially if the town goes under like I'm worried it will. We'd better stick together, no matter where we end up.

Margie: Well, I suppose. Let's have an elderberry cordial and talk some more.

Edna: That sounds good, I'll go get the cordial glasses and meet you on the front porch.

Margie: I'll meet you there, Edna.