Bedtime rituals

Image courtesy the Duke University Digital Collections

Margie: I think it's time to get ready for bed, Edna. Oh, that reminds me of something we talked about at the ladies' luncheon today. We were discussing how people have their own little bedtime rituals like brushing their teeth or lotioning their body.

It struck me, Edna, that you and I have have had our same rituals for years. I hate to say this but that anti-aging cream you've been using for years isn't working.

Edna: Speak for yourself, Margie, they haven't yet invented a wrinkle cream that can tackle those crevices on your face.

You know, I'm not so sure I want to share my beauty secrets and bedtime rituals with our readers. A lady shouldn't talk about such intimate things.

Margie: Edna, you nitwit, Mama only raised one fool and you prove you're it every time you flap your gums.

Tell me what is so intimate about the fact that you leave your dentures in a glass overnight? Or that you claim to have beauty secrets but I never see any beauty results.

Edna: Margie, it's one thing for you to see my at my worst, but I try to maintain at least a bit of decorum when it comes to letting our readers in on our private lives.

All right, fine, you want me to share something, I'll share a tried-and-true ritual that I do every night before going to bed. I slather Vaseline on my hands and then cover them with white cotton socks and sleep with the socks on my hands all night. When I wake up in the morning, my hands are smooth and hydrated. That's why people say I have the hands of a 20-year-old.

Margie: Lord have mercy! That's not what they say when you take the gloves off.

Here's my secret, Edna. I go to the beauty parlor once a week but I like for my hair to look freshly done in between hairdos. That's why I always go to bed with my hair under a pair of nylon bloomers. They make my hairdo last a whole week.

Edna: Oh, Margie, there are so many jokes I could make about that but I am going to do the classy thing and take the high road.

Actually, my favorite bedtime ritual doesn't have anything to do with beauty care. I always keep a stack of books on my nightstand, and I like to read a bit of a good novel before going to sleep. It's a soothing way to unwind at the end of a busy day, and my dreams are always sweeter if I've read for at least a few minutes before falling asleep.

Margie: Reading before bed is a sweet treat without sugar, sister. I adore a good book. Books are also a beauty aid because they help you relax which makes for fewer wrinkles.

Edna: You said it, Margie. You know, I wonder if our readers might want to share some of their nightly rituals with us?

Margie: Oh let's ask them, Edna. That'd be fun!