Black Friday

Margie: Edna, it'll soon be time for those crazy shoppers again. They zip up and down this street like they're race car drivers. It's not safe when folks are full of turkey and head for all the sales.Do you think they really have money to spend?


Edna: I doubt it, but that never stops people from acting like fools. I just hope they don't hurt each other in the stampede once the doors open. Itty-Biddy sued Walmart for 5 million dollars last year because she got knocked over by a woman toting a flat-screen TV. 

Margie: Edna, let's go shopping at Walmart on Friday.

The Lemon Gooey Butter Cake Debacle

Margie: Edna, Mrs. Pastor called this morning and asked how I'm doing. She's so sweet. I told her I'm a little weak because you wouldn't fix my breakfast.

Look what she brought me while you got your bath.

Edna: Margie, I never thought I'd see the day where you'd lie to the wife of a man of God! I did so fix you breakfast, you just refused to eat it. It's not my fault that the doctor won't let you have brown sugar on your oatmeal any more.

That was nice of her to bring you a cake but I consider that ill-gotten goods. You call her right now and tell her to come get it and take it back home with her. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Margie: Edna, it's all gone. So is the milk. Could you go to the store, sister?

Edna: After you slandered me to Mrs. Pastor? Not on your life.

Oh, and I'm calling the doctor right now and telling him all about that cake you just ate, so I hope it was worth it.

Margie: Edna, have you forgotten how Daddy said nothing is worse than a tattle tale? You have no respect.

Edna: That's okay, the doctor will be able to tell you haven't been minding him the next time he checks your cholesterol. Then we'll see who has the last laugh.

Margie: Kiss my... grits, hussy.