International House of Snacking

Margie: Edna, you're such a snackaholic that you should read this article about snacks from around the world. Frankly, I'd stop snacking if I had to eat some of this garbage. Don't be buying me any red caviar chips. Yuck!

Edna: Those chips would actually be perfect for you, Margie. You have caviar taste but a potato chip-sized budget.

What I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around is Cucumber Pepsi. I think you'd better take your own Pepsi if you ever travel to Japan. I can just see you pitching a fit when they brought you Cucumber Pepsi at a restaurant. You'd be an embarrassment to our entire nation.

Yes, it's real.

Margie: Edna, here's something that you should do. Go to the UK and try this Hot Dog–Stuffed Crust pizza. Maybe that would fill your big mouth so you'd stop dissing me.

Edna: Good Lord, woman, did you just use the word "dissing"? Who do you think you are, some young hotsy-totsy who's up on the newest slang? You don't even have to leave the country to embarrass yourself, you're doing a fine job of it right here on American soil.

And I believe you know where you can stick that pizza, don't you?

Margie: Open wide, sister.

It's not a party without some hard-core munchies...

Margie: Edna, you said we need food for our party so I'm telling you that I won't be doing all the cooking. I'm making a few dishes then the rest is up to you.

Don't start with me about making Funnel Cakes either because you just want that for yourself. Talk about a lack of manners! You sure never met a Funnel Cake you didn't like. Glutton!

Edna: Sister, you never cease to amaze me. You want me to help you cook but you pile on the insults? Have you learned nothing in all your years on this earth? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, you harpy.

Now, as for our party food, I am more than willing to help cook, and I have a few menu ideas! We need to have some fun food, and it's a good thing we know so many food bloggers, so good recipes are easy to find. How about we make Jenn Cooks' recipe for Scrabble party mix? And in honor of our good friend Amy Vernon, we need to make this bacon appetizer from the Pioneer Woman's website. My lands, the mouth waters just thinking about it.

Margie: Edna, you know good and well that Miss Amy and I will be fighting over any bacon appetizers. You'd best go practice those today and let me sample them.

I'm going to make these Chocolate Gooey Butter cookies and some Prune Whip. Cousin T will be sad if I don't make these quesadillas for him so I'll do those too. Lordy mercy, my stomach is a-growling, Edna.

Edna: Mine too, Margie. But one of the good things about being the hostess is sampling the party food, so just be patient. Now, we'll be serving our special tea, but let's not forget to have a non-alcholic option for our teetotalling guests. It's a good thing I found this recipe for Golden Glow Punch, it sure does sound tasty!

We'd best get a list together so we can send Cousin T to the store for supplies. Have we forgotten anything?

Margie: That sounds good, Edna. I think I'll sample that punch and see if it makes me glow.

Edna: Just leave enough for our guests tomorrow, that's all I ask.

Margie gets the munchies

Margie's top five snack foods

1. Chocolate- anything chocolate. If Edna is around, though, you best keep chocolate locked up or it will disappear. Edna eats chocolate like a goat eats grass.

2. Peanuts- parched like Mama used to make in the oven. I can't chew so good these days but I parch the peanuts, shell them, put them in a plastic bag, then Cousin T comes with his hammer and mushes them for me. They're easy to eat then.

3. Popcorn- My favorite is the kind Edna and I pop over the fire. It's old-fashioned but tasty. We sometimes have to pop extra because it goes so well with Special Tea.

4. Crackers- any kind. I like pretty crackers like those Ritz ones. Sometimes I just take my teeth out and gum the suckers.

5. Prunes- After eating so many snacks it's usually time to stew and eat some prunes. All those snacks can really get you clogged. Besides, Edna hates them so I can eat all I want without hiding them.

Have I made anybody hungry?