Jelly Bean Day

Margie: Edna, did you forget that yesterday was National Jelly Bean Day? You must have because I didn't see you cramming your mouth full of jelly beans. Wait, maybe your old teeth can't handle them anymore.

Anyway, did you know that the jelly bean dates back to at least the 1860's? Wasn't that about when you were born? They were promoted as morale boosters for army troops fighting in the Civil War. I remember when Daddy would bring some home when I'd been good all week.

Edna: I forget nothing, Margie. I didn't make a big deal about it because you always steal my jelly beans and I just do not have the patience for your shenanigans any more. I'll celebrate in private, thank you very much.

Margie: This is better than winning the lottery, sister. Please tell me you plan to celebrate every holiday in private from now on!

Lucky Penny Day

Margie: Edna and I used to take our pennies to the store and buy penny candy. Times sure have changed since then. Nothing costs just a penny anymore.

Superstition has it that you should only pick up a penny that is lying face up.
Tell that to Edna. She'll pick up any penny.

Edna? I hear there are pennies laying on the railroad track. Want to go see?

Remembering The Dime Store

Margie: Edna, I read an article in the Sunday paper about the old dime stores. Remember those? I can just hear those wood floors creaking now. Oh, and who could ever forget the smell of that popcorn popping?

I remember you always ended up at the candy counter. You'd get a dime's worth of M&M's and you'd have enough to last you a week. I sure miss those good prices too.

Edna: At least I never fell head-first into the pickle barrel like you-know-who. I miss those good prices too, especially whenever we go down the candy aisle at the grocery store. I'll never forget all that penny candy in glass jars, all set out in rows. Every now and then I still get a hankering for a sarsaparilla-flavored candy stick.

Margie: Me too, sister. Lawsy me, remember when Daddy bought Mama that stinking Blue Waltz perfume? It smelled like skunk water but we didn't dare tell Mama.

Edna: If you hated it so much, why were you always sneaking dabs from Mama's bottle when she wasn't looking?

My favorite thing to get from the dime store were the ice cold bottles of birch beer. Remember how they used to keep them in an old washtub full of ice? Your hand would be frozen by the time you fished out your bottle, but it sure hit the spot on a dusty day.

Margie: I remember the time I shoved your face in that ice but Daddy caught me before your big mouth froze.

I need a shot of Special tea, you moron.