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Margie: Edna, did you forget that yesterday was National Jelly Bean Day? You must have because I didn't see you cramming your mouth full of jelly beans. Wait, maybe your old teeth can't handle them anymore.
Anyway, did you know that the jelly bean dates back to at least the 1860's? Wasn't that about when you were born? They were promoted as morale boosters for army troops fighting in the Civil War. I remember when Daddy would bring some home when I'd been good all week.
Edna: I forget nothing, Margie. I didn't make a big deal about it because you always steal my jelly beans and I just do not have the patience for your shenanigans any more. I'll celebrate in private, thank you very much.
Margie: This is better than winning the lottery, sister. Please tell me you plan to celebrate every holiday in private from now on!
Margie: Edna, my stomach hurts. My belly is full of Jelly Belly. Yes, I ate all the jelly beans. I didn't mean to do it. The Devil made me.
Edna: Margie, it serves you right if your stomach hurts. Gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins! Pastor preached about that just last week, you heathen. I'm partial to jelly beans, although I don't make a pig of myself about it like you do. By the way, I left you all the black jelly beans. Those things are just pure evil.
Margie: Edna, this is supposed to be National Jelly Bean Day but I think it's going to be stomach ache day for me. I can't eat another one of those things.
Edna: I'm going out on the veranda where I don't have to listen to you moaning and complaining. My lands, anyone would think you're a toddler, the way you have no self-control. Shameful, just shameful!
And I'm taking the jelly beans with me, sister.
