Hug A GI Day

Margie: Edna, I have some volunteer work to do today so I'm heading to town. I don't know what time I might get back so why don't you ShamWow some of the dusty furniture? After you do that why don't you get on your broom and sweep the kitchen?

Don't try to cook anything because we don't need the house to burn down. Just eat some bread or crackers. I'll be eating out tonight.

Edna: First of all, you obviously haven't been paying attention to the infomercial or you'd know the ShamWow is only for wet spills, not for dusting. Honestly, you never listen!

Secondly, just what kind of volunteer work requires you to eat out at night? I'm mighty suspicious, sister.

Margie: I'm going to the VFW. Today is Hug A GI Day. I'm going to do my patriotic duty and hug all the GI's I can find.

You know, Edna, that I believe our GI's deserve a hug from a nice lady like me. I'll brighten their day.

Edna: I know you're waiting for me to call you a hussy for wanting to go hug men all day, but this is a holiday I can support! The only thing that annoys me is that you wanted to leave me behind. Are you worried the GI's will like me better because I'm the younger sister?

Margie: Edna, I am simply trying to spare you the embarrassment of having the gentlemen decline to kiss those prune lips.

Be a good girl and go wash your hair.

Edna: You are a selfish floozy, and don't you think I'll forget that you wanted to cut me out of the action! Fine, be that way. I hope you catch a communicable disease from one of those soldier boys.

Margie: Shame on you, Edna. Sounds like you're the floozy since you're looking for "action" and I just want to thank our soldiers. Tsk, tsk.

Edna's Fun Friday: ShamWow!

Edna: I have a confession to make, dear readers. I am utterly fascinated by infomercials. I don't know what it is about them, maybe it's the fact that everyone is so enthusiastic about their products. (Yes, yes, I know, they're paid to be enthusiastic, but I still find it endearing.) No matter how many times I've seen Mick and Mimi demonstrate the Magic Bullet to a kitchen full of pseudo-houseguests, I still stop and watch if I happen to catch it while channel surfing. I even watched poor Mr. T. hawk the FlavorWave oven. (Which, quite frankly, just seemed a little odd. They didn't even let him wear his gold necklaces.)

My newest fascinaton is with the ShamWow. My goodness, but does this look like a wonderful product or what? The oddly intense spokesman seems to think so, as he spills and wipes up various liquids and waxes rhapsodic about the absorbing power of one single ShamWow. You know, I think this thing would come in handy the next time I spill Margie's special tea. I could just whip out my ShamWow, soak up all of her drink, and squeeze it all back into her teacup with her being none-the-wiser.

But as with all of my favorite infomercials, I always wonder if the product is all it's cracked up to be. So tell me, have any of you tried the ShamWow? Do the Germans really know what they're doing when it comes to making synthetic shammies, or is this thing just an over-hyped piece of you-know-what?