We'd vote for 'em!

Edna: Margie, our country is in such bad financial shape. It doesn't seem to me like these politicians are going to fix what's wrong, and things just keep getting worse.

Margie: You told the truth, sister. Politicians lie and try to fool people but we're too old to be fooled. The federal deficit keeps growing along with people's waistlines. The way grocery prices keep going up we may all turn into bones.

Edna: Maybe the solution is to get some non-politicians to turn this country around. You elect someone from the private sector who knows how to get things done, and then just wait and see how fast things get fixed.

Margie: Sister, you hit the nail on the head and I know where to start. Let's call Jillian Michaels. Not only will she solve the obesity problem but people will be riding bikes to work and school which will save on gas. Those politicians can kiss their cars and drivers goodbye!

Edna: And she's kind of scary, I think people would be afraid to disobey her. I bet she'd be able to get food prices to go down, because she'd want everyone to eat healthy and people just can't do that when junk food is cheaper than real food. We should write her in for president during the election this fall, what do you think?

Margie: Jillian scares me more than seeing your face first thing in the morning and that's scary! I fear she'd put a stop to junk food. All the fast food places would serve only turkey burgers and salads. I'm all in favor of writing her name in this Fall.

Sister, we should write Jillian and tell her that Suze Orman should be her VP. Can't you see Congress trying to pass a spending bill and Suze saying, "Can you afford it? Show me the money."

Edna: Suze would be perfect! With those two in office, they'd surely steer this ship back on course. But now I'm thinking Suze should be president and Jillian should be vice president. Jillian doesn't seem like she has the diplomacy to be president. I've seen the Biggest Loser, she'd be forever yelling at world leaders to get things done and I don't think the UN would go for that.

Margie: I agree with that. Suze is much calmer and she could handle Jillian because Suze would be signing her paychecks.

Edna, help me polish my resume. Suze is going to be looking for a social secretary and who's more social than I am?

Edna: Lord help us all.

Edna's Bloomers

Margie: Edna, I can't believe I found this. Thank you for not showing your face. You ought to be plumb ashamed making a floozy picture like this.


Edna: Well, for crying out loud, what makes you think those are MY legs? You just said you couldn't see the model's face. Although, those feet are certainly petite enough to be mine.


Margie: Edna, I've known you for decades so don't try to pretend that I don't recognize that old body of yours. You have more sags and droops now but this picture was in your younger day.

You never could recall where you'd left those bloomers could you?

Edna: I know exactly where I left those bloomers, but if I let the cat out of the bag I'd also embarrass a very high-ranking politician. We've had enough of those kinds of scandals lately, don't you think?

Margie: Thank you Edna. That's a very wise decision on your part. You certainly don't need to start another scandal.

Edna: Margie, I don't think you want me to start talking about who causes the scandals around here. I still have those pictures I took the last time Deputy Jimmy hauled you off to the pokey for indecent exposure. Don't make me share them with our readers.

Margie: Stifle it, dingbat.