Special Tea For the Soul

When Edna and I came home from finishing school, Mama told us that we should never stop improving ourselves. She said, " A lady can always find a way to be more of a lady."

In honor of Mama, Edna and I would like to present a week of self-improvement ideas which we hope will benefit you as much as it will us.
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Edna: Margie, I am a big believer in self-improvement, but mostly in others since I myself am practically perfect in every way.

Margie: Edna, I know you believe in self-improvement, just not for yourself. You have had delusions for so long that I'm surprised you're still at home. Of course, the Dr. does give you strong doses of those pills. I still say all you need is Special Tea for the Soul.

Edna: Margie, I stopped taking those pills a long time ago, but we're not here to talk about my private business you blabbermouth. Why don't you give our readers a few words of wisdom? (Folks, listen close, she doesn't sound wise very often.)

Margie: Fine, Edna. Here are some words for you.

An apple a day prevents one from going to see a handsome doctor. That's why I don't eat apples.

Edna: Here's one of my favorites from Mama: she always said that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But what you’d want to do with a bunch of sticky flies is beyond me.

Margie: I think they made Shoo Fly Pie with them, Edna. That reminds me.

Mama also said if it weren't for Special Tea you'd have no personality whatsoever.

Edna: Margie, you can kiss my grits! Folks, listen up and let me tell you something. The way to a man’s heart is usually through his stomach. Unless you’re Margie, and then you just lock him in the basement until he gives in.

Margie: Saves on the grocery bill, Edna. And may I say that you can love a rich man as well as a poor one unless the rich man is really ugly. I don't allow ugly men in my basement.

Edna: Mama would be so proud.
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