Edna buys an energy drink

Edna: Margie, I’m sitting down and writing a letter to this here beverage company. They sold me an energy drink disguised as a soda! I haven’t slept in three days, and I only drank one can!

Margie: Edna, I have told you time and again to get glasses. It's nothing to be ashamed of these days.

You may not have slept in three days, Edna, because that stuff is for young folk. Imagine Cousin T drinking a can!

Edna: Oh my stars and garters, I can see it now! The poor boy would have torn down the house and built us a whole new one in three days time.

I only bought this stuff because it was on sale, I thought it was the original drink with new packaging. They should make it clearer on the label that it's an energy drink. Doesn't taste all that wonderful, either.

Oh Margie, I'm too old for this nonsense.

Margie: That's the truth! He might do it in 2 days.

You're always looking for a sale, Edna, but this didn't turn out to be a good thing.

Why don't you take the other cans to the pastor and let him get fired up for the Sunday sermon?

Edna: Good idea, Margie! Should be one humdinger of a sermon, if he drinks that stuff.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm coming down off my energy drink high. I've got three days of sleep to catch up on, so maybe you can go down the basement and give me a little peace and quiet?

Margie: Surely I will. Could I try one of those drinks, Edna?

Edna: No ma’am! For your own good, I’m getting this evil brew out of the house right this instant. Plus, all I need is for you to drink one of these then go on a 3-day vacuuming bender. No thank you.