Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Margie: This elderberry cordial is mighty fine, sister. I'm all tuckered out from running errands today. Have another one, Edna, and I'll tell you a funny story. It'll probably be in tomorrow's paper and I wouldn't want you to see it and have a fainting spell. Don't get your bloomers in a wad because your heart isn't what it used to be.
Edna: Margie, with a lead-in like that, how am I supposed to stay relaxed? You just spit out your story and let me decide what to do with my bloomers.
Margie: Well, it was a hot day and I had all the windows in the car rolled down then my favorite song by Rihanna came on the radio. I turned up the volume and was singing along when I looked in the mirror and saw the flashing blue lights. I pulled over as I'm a law-abiding citizen. This hunk of a trooper walked up to my car and said something but I couldn't hear him.
My word, he was handsome. Well, I said to myself that I wasn't doing anything wrong so my Sunday School friends must be aiming to surprise me with a little treat. I turned the music a little louder and yelled, "Take it off. Take it all off." How was I to know he really was a trooper and not a male stripper?
He took me to the hoosegow but you need not worry. My friend, Mary Bailey, came and got me out. Deputy Jimmy said it may be in tomorrow's paper though.
Edna: Good God, Margie, you should have poured me a bigger cordial before telling me all that. The next time the doctor asks me why my bleeding ulcers aren't getting better, I'm showing him this story.
Margie: You are nothing but a big baby. Would you like to hear another story?
Edna: Not if it involves strippers, real or imaginary. You just keep that to yourself.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Margie: Edna, you're such a snackaholic that you should read this article about snacks from around the world. Frankly, I'd stop snacking if I had to eat some of this garbage. Don't be buying me any red caviar chips. Yuck!
Edna: Those chips would actually be perfect for you, Margie. You have caviar taste but a potato chip-sized budget.
What I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around is Cucumber Pepsi. I think you'd better take your own Pepsi if you ever travel to Japan. I can just see you pitching a fit when they brought you Cucumber Pepsi at a restaurant. You'd be an embarrassment to our entire nation.
Margie: Edna, here's something that you should do. Go to the UK and try this Hot Dog–Stuffed Crust pizza. Maybe that would fill your big mouth so you'd stop dissing me.
Edna: Good Lord, woman, did you just use the word "dissing"? Who do you think you are, some young hotsy-totsy who's up on the newest slang? You don't even have to leave the country to embarrass yourself, you're doing a fine job of it right here on American soil.
And I believe you know where you can stick that pizza, don't you?
Margie: Open wide, sister.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The summertime blues have set in, and Margie and Edna are taking a mental vacation in Tahiti.
They'll be back on Friday.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Margie: Edna, you know I wasn't too happy about Supernatural this season. There were several episodes where I felt I'd wasted my time except for looking at my sweet Jensen Ackles. That boy is sweeter than Granny's chocolate cake.
Anyway, I'd like to borrow 2 pieces of your pretty stationary because I have to write 2 letters. I have some suggestions for next season so I'm sending them to my Congresswoman and the Supernatural producers. Would you like to hear my suggestions?
Edna: Sure, why not? Just make it quick, it's almost time for my stories.
Margie: Edna, this is more important than your floozy stories.
First, Dean and Sam need to be in a warm locale like Hawaii. Second, Dean needs to take his shirt off a lot because it's hot in Hawaii. Thirdly, it's hot in Hawaii so Dean needs to sleep nekkid. Finally, I need to move to Hawaii so I can write this show.
How's that, sister?
Edna: Margie, once again you've proven that you're an idiot. First, if they move the show to Hawaii, that doesn't mean the writers get to live in Hawaii. They might not even film it in Hawaii, you dunce. Second, you are way too old to be writing for youngsters like that. If Sam and Dean were centenarians, then maybe you'd have a chance.
Margie: Aha! You're the idiot! I'll be writing the show so we don't need any other writers. I'll say where we film and I say it's Hawaii! I can write for any age man, nitwit.
You're just mad because you can't stand the thought that I'll be moving to Hawaii. I always knew you'd never want me to leave you.
Edna: Good Lord. Margie, you realize that you don't OWN the show right? My lands, this heat must be frying your brain cells. You go on and move to Hawaii, I'm sure not going to stop you!
Margie: I own what I say I own. I'm going to search your room and see what you took that belongs to me.
Edna: Try it, sister, and you'll be traveling to Hawaii in a pine box.
Friday, May 18, 2012
- MS affects women more than men.
- Symptoms of MS often appear between ages 25-31 and can last a lifetime.
- You are slightly more likely to get this condition if you have a family history of MS or live in an part of the world where MS is more common.
- Some symptoms of MS are much more common than others. These include: Fatigue; Numbness; Walking (Gait), Balance, and Coordination Problems; Bladder Dysfunction; Bowel Dysfunction; Vision Problems; Dizziness and Vertigo; Sexual Dysfunction; Pain; Cognitive Dysfunction; Emotional Changes; Depression; and Spasticity.
- Although there is still no cure for MS, effective strategies are available to modify the disease course, treat exacerbations (also called attacks, relapses, or flare-ups), manage symptoms, improve function and safety, and provide emotional support. In combination, these treatments enhance the quality of life for people living with MS.
For more information about MS, including how to raise awareness, please head here.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Margie: Edna, dear, come eat your breakfast while it's hot. I made your favorites. There's a Margie McMuffin, hot tea, and fresh strawberries. You'll be ready to face the day after you fill your belly.
Edna: What are you up to, sister? The last time you did something nice for me, come to find out you'd stolen my credit card and booked yourself on a trip to Tahiti. So go ahead, spill your bad news.
Margie: Edna, I'm insulted. Can't I do something nice for my sister without you thinking I have an ulterior motive? My stars, you always ask why I can't be nice to you yet you never believe it when I am.
While we're talking I did want to say that I was wondering how much life insurance you have.
Edna: There, you see? That right there, I knew you were buttering me up for something. Never you mind about my life insurance, you keep your questions to yourself. And don't you go getting any funny ideas, you aren't the beneficiary anyway.
Margie: That does it! See if I'm ever nice to you again, you old toad!
Edna: Your brand of "nice" I can do without, sister.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Margie: Sister, do you know what I was thinking about this morning? Those double feature movies that we used to go see every Saturday at the Jericho theater. How come they don't make those anymore? I guess they got greedy and want you to pay for each movie separately.
Remember that wonderful popcorn? They don't make it like that anymore. I could sure drink one of those cold drinks too. That makes my mouth water. Those were the days!
Edna: That old movie popcorn was the best. These days they slap rancid yellow oil on it and call it "buttered". Buttered, my Aunt Fanny! That popcorn is about as close to being buttered as you are to being Miss America.
Maybe we should start showing our own double features, revive a tradition. We could see if Cousin T could rig us up one of those projectors you can use with a computer, and we could show movies on the side of the barn during the evenings. We could even charge a quarter admission fee! What do you think?
Margie: I think you'll be serving popcorn and drinks because I'm going to collect the money!
Edna: Fine. I'll be serving special tea so you'll just have to miss out.
Margie: Fine. I'll just go to Bailey's with the money I collect.
Edna: Fine! When you come home, don't be surprised to find the locks changed.
Margie: Going to call my lawyer now. Bye.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Margie: Edna, lookie here at this new shovel I bought you. I got me a pink one. Would you like to know why I bought them? I'll tell you.
I went to the home to do some visiting and I saw a gentleman that I hadn't seen before. Turns out it was Irving. Remember him? He was your high school crush. Anyway, he said his great-grandpa told him that our great-grandpa had told him that he buried money in this very back yard. Let's get to digging, Edna, and I'll share some of my treasure with you.
Edna: Margie, don't you dare dig up our backyard, I just planted our summer annuals! Besides, you are way too old for this treasure-hunting nonsense. Who do you think you are, a pirate? You'll give yourself a heart attack with that digging, maybe we'd best buy us a metal detector then have Cousin T dig when we hit metal.
And darn tootin' you'll share the loot with me! I do own half of this property so half the treasure is rightly mine.
Margie: Well, I suppose a metal detector would be best but I'll do the detecting! Edna, I sure was looking forward to using my pink shovel because it matches my bikini.
Edna: Good God a'mighty. Maybe that pink bikini is the answer; you wear that outside and the treasure will all but leap out of the ground so you can go back inside and stop your assault on the eyes.
You know, you're awfully quick to trust the word of an old man who may or may not be remembering things correctly. What if there's no treasure out there?
Margie: Edna, there will be treasure even if you just go bury a jar of your old coins. I won't be fit to live with if I don't find treasure.
Edna: What makes you think you're fit to live with NOW?
Monday, May 7, 2012
Edna: Margie, I just found something on the Internet, I think you'd best come over here and listen to this. Do you remember when that film crew was in Jericho a few years back, making that documentary about us townfolk? I'm sure you do, I definitely remember how much you complained that they focused too much on the Green family (especially that scandalous Jake Green!) and not enough on the rest of us.
Margie: Edna, those folks came here and made a big commotion but did they put you and me on the TV? No, and we've lived here longer than anybody else. We ARE Jericho. Nuts!
Edna: I think we'd better take some steps to make sure we're included this time. I don't know about you, but I'm going to go out and buy a new hat. The flashier the better, maybe that will attract some attention during filming. Plus, I'm going to write a letter to that Mr. Netflix, whoever he is. Plead our case directly, so to speak.
Margie: Great idea! I think I'll wear my new hat that has the big fish on it. Do write him a letter and we'll enclose a picture of me. He won't be able to refuse us then for sure!
News broke last week on various online media outlets (TV Guide and The New York Times, among others) that Netflix may be picking up Jericho in order to resume filming the TV series that originally aired on CBS. We were tickled to hear the news, because Jericho is a show that we both hold near and dear to our hearts. This is partly because we both participated in the original fight for the second season, but it's also because Jericho is how and why we became friends in the first place. We would love for Jericho to get another chance, and fans are mobilizing to help Netflix to fully appreciate what a devoted fandom Jericho already has. If you're interested in becoming involved, we suggest you check out SavingJericho.com for resources and suggestions on how to let your voice be heard.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
On this day in history....
Music legend James Brown was born (1933).
Italian philosopher and writer Niccolo Machiavelli was born (1469).
Crooner Bing Crosby was born (1903).
Former Prime Minister of Israel Golda Meir was born (1898).
And in 1996, the best nephew in the world was born. Happy Birthday, Sweet Tea! The world became a much better place as soon as you set foot in it. You deserve the very best that life has to offer, and more.