Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Margie and Edna's Day Spa

Edna: Margie, I've been looking at our budget again, because I know we said that we wanted to take a vacation this year. We're not going to be able to afford to go anywhere, but I have a suggestion for something we can do instead.

Margie: Edna, you know how I hate budgets but I know we need one. I'll be interested to see what you think we can do instead. Lay it on me, sister.

Edna: Well, I've been hearing a lot about these "staycations." You know, where you stay home instead of going somewhere, and you make your own fun! I think we could do that, don't you? We could turn this old homestead into a day spa, with just a little bit of creativity.

Margie: You call staying home with you fun, Edna? Get a grip. I suppose, though, we could make our own fun if we invited some gentlemen over.

Day spa? Like getting nekkid and sitting in a hot tub? Maybe this could be fun.

Edna: Margie, this would not be for inviting gentlemen over, you hussy. This would just be for us. Although, if we do a good job, I suppose we could open it to the public and charge people. Only a small fee, of course.

I was thinking we could have Cousin T rig up an outboard motor in that old water trough we've got in the back yard, make our own whirlpool for easing away those aches and pains. It might be dangerous to turn it into a hot tub, though, how would we do that without involving a woodfire? Personally, I don't cotton to the idea of boiling myself. Maybe we should test some of these ideas out first before we really commit to the idea, what do you think?

Margie: Edna, call Cousin T and the two of you see if that idea will work. Don't worry about getting boiled because I'm going to make us a mud bath right over there. Do you know how much rich folks pay for those things?

We'll be the talk of the town and I'm all for charging a small fee to let folks use our facilities. What else do we need, Edna?

Edna: Oh, a mud bath, great idea! I hear all the posh spas have those, and our mud is good, rich Kansas mud, so it's extra-special. The pigs sure do seem to like it, I think our paying customers might, too.

You know, though, before we try out that mud bath, let's try something else out. I heard about these fish in Japan that will give you a pedicure by eating all the dead skin off of your feet. I think we should check and see if the fish in the crick out back will do the same thing. It's such a hot day, how about we go dangle our feet a while and see what happens?

Margie: Edna, this water is so cool to my feet. This will be a wonderful staycation. Folks can try the hot tub then step into a nice mud bath then sit here by the crick.

Edna, are those dead fish I see over there around your feet? How many times have I told you to buy some Odor Eaters?

Edna: Hmmph, if those are dead fish (and I'm not saying they are), it's only because your feet killed them and they floated downstream to me. We may have to think of something else for our staycation day spa, I don't think these fish nibbled on my feet at all.

Let's go try out the mudbath, then we can call Cousin T about that whirpool idea.

Margie: When you call Cousin T, Edna, ask him if he wants to have a fish fry tonight. I'd hate to waste these fish you killed.

Oh Edna, this mud is so cool. No wonder pigs love it. Wouldn't you enjoy a mud mask, sister? Here's mud in your eye. Wheeeeee!

Edna: I cannot believe that you just threw mud at me! What is wrong with you?! I surely hope you don't act this way when we've got paying customers.

Oops, I'm sorry, did I accidentally trip you?

Margie: Take my hand, Edna, and help me up. Oops, did I pull you down in the mud too?

You're no longer a blonde, Edna. Here you go, you're a muddy brown now. Where's my Kodak?

Edna: That's it, I've had it! Don't you dare get your camera or I'll...uh-oh, do you hear sirens? We'd better scram, someone must have called Deputy Jimmy on us!

Margie: Run for your life, Edna, unless you want a jailcation!

*Margie and Edna are not responsible for tick infestation,
outboard motor blade lacerations,
or the cost of making bail.


Dina said...

omg too funny, i love it!

siteseer said...

I hear that are going to be a lot of staycations this year. Yours sounds like fun.

Jodi said...

lol, oh my you guys are killing my stomach from laughing so hard. I hope all is well. God bless.


Balceroregontr said...

I am glad you didn't decide to do jello wrestling. I would love to go to your stay-cation as long as Cousin T. was there to referee.

Balceroregontr said...

I forgot to add I won't be eating any of the fish!!

erika said...

The disclaimer on your 'spa' is priceless! TeeHee.

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